Cycle of Life

My sweet baby girl,

Another week ending & another beginning. Today was nothing special. Just a typical Sunday of cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking & some gardening. I'm planning to plant some tulip bulbs for Spring in your honor- different shades of white & purple. But the yard was so full of weeds, I had to pull those first and my back started to hurt. Will definitely finish this week...

There's never enough time my mouse. I have so many unfinished projects- scrapbooks, albums, picture collage frames that I've started and never seem to have time to finish. It's true that I would have to stop in between because it got overwhelming at times. But it was healing too, just like these letters.

.....

Last weekend was a little more exciting. Me, your sisters & my friend Em went to the Dc Autoimmune walk on Saturday. Auntie hurt her back & she couldn't make it. :( But I know she would of if she could. Hoping she's feeling better. <3

I've known my friend Em since 4th grade! Can you believe it mouse? I was a year younger than you I guess when I first met her. We weren't super close growing up, but grew up together regardless, all though elementary, middle & high school. And now, something links us. She lost her mom to complications of Type One Diabetes too. :(

She was there for your service. She sent me a basket of butterfly cookies not too long after. She's kept in touch this whole time & always shares things I ask people to share on Facebook, having to do with you or Type One.

It was nice to see her again. We've decided to see each other too outside of these walks. :) It's good to have good friends like this baby girl.

I've learned that we have a history of autoimmune diseases in our family.
This is why this walk was important...people need to know there is a link with
all autoimmune diseases, like Type One Diabetes. :(

Afterwards, I took your sisters to Mario's Pizza, this well known pizza place that Papi used to take us to when we were little. It's been there forever, and to my surprise Joe & his buddy (forgot his name) was still there. They are just as famous as the place. :) It brings back so many childhood memories....that I'm trying to pass on to your sisters too.



In a city so changed...some things never change.

.....

That's the cycle of life baby girl.

What we learn in childhood, we take with us, then pass it on. Good or not, some things become engraved in our hearts & in our memory and become a part of us.

I've always tried to pass on the good things. 

I remember taking you girls to Mario's before, after one of our many DC adventures. Something that we did with Papi many times. Those times, when I was kid, were the best times. We didn't know it then, but it was...

Just like all our times together.

.....

I'm still trying to make great memories for your sisters, my sweet girl. In the beginning, I didn't think it would be possible. Now I realize that we need to, we have to- if we have any chance at all to survive this.

It would be too heartbreaking...to have our last memories be of that terrible day. We wouldn't be able to move forward. To live at all.

Instead, we live with the happy memories we shared. And we strive to make new ones.

I guess this is why I'm always sharing all our memories too. To erase the bad ones with the good ones.

.....

So, last Sunday Sissy & I went to see Cheap Trick, Joan Jett & Heart. Cecilia got us tickets as a Christmas gift (so sweet). We went with Uncle Brian and her brothers too. We had a really great time. :)

<3

<3 (too bad Cecilia doesn't like pictures)

I love my friends. I love that I can laugh, cry & be my crazy self around them & they understand. I love that we share a passion for music & concerts- to have a good time & just let go. Even if just for a few hours...how good it felt to just let go.

I'm so thankful that I got to share it with Sissy. That she's not only my daughter, but my friend too. I hope that it will always be like this...

Oh, my mouse.

One thing we can never let go of, is you. We saw so much purple at the concert. Even Joan Jett was wearing a purple glittery outfit. Sissy & me noticed & smiled. I told her:

See, purple is a cool color...

You are everywhere & will always will be.

You are still my friend too. More than you know. These letters, your spirit & love- they will always guide me. They will always be a part of me. And I will pass that on too, my sweet girl.

We all will. All the ones that knew you.

After all, that is the cycle of life.

I love & miss you forever,
Your mommy <3