Wish you were here

Dear Babygirl,

Some days, no matter how busy or filled with joy, can still seem long & empty. I would of never thought it to be true, that one can feel so stuck in between two worlds, living with a half heart, yet feeling everything with the power of ten....

The times of joy, we wish you were here. In times of sorrow, we wish you were here. Even when my heart & minded are numbed over after a serious bout of grief....I wish you were here.

The longing is so strong, that anxiety builds up in my chest and it's hard to take a deep breath. I'm sorry to have to tell you these things, my beautiful girl. But it's true. I just miss you so much, and wish you were here.

Daddy too. He went in to your room the other day and cried. We went to see you at the gardens today and he walked away, crying. I don't want you to be sad. I just want you to know, that we can't help it sometimes. No matter how strong we try to be, or pretend we are...sometimes the reality of you being physically gone away from us, is too much.

I always close my eyes and wait for the tears to run out, trying to think of something good. It usually works, until the next time. I think about your beautiful smile. The way you'd feel in my arms. The way your eyelashes curled up and that cute little freckle on your lip...so many things, so many memories that bring you back to me.

Sometimes, I think how unfair it is that the world has to go on without our loved ones. Without you, my baby.

I saw a movie, Four Weddings and a Funeral the other day & heard this during the funeral part & it just struck me. I had to look it up and read the lyrics...it's sad but oh so true. :(

https://youtu.be/b_a-eXIoyYA

Everything reminds me of you.

I just wish you were here.


https://youtu.be/3j8mr-gcgoI

Everyday of my life.

Forever,
Your mommy

:(

I remember this, you were studying it for school & we had a good laugh. <3

Your favorite, French toast.