Upsets

My angel,

This morning a little after 3am, me in my bedroom & sissy in hers, we woke up randomly at the same time to find out that a new president was elected.

It's not the candidate I voted or that we were rooting for. It was a big shock & disappointment. So much was at stake. Such a dragged out & hard fought campaign to end in such results. Heartbreaking. We had such high hopes that were crushed in a matter of hours...

How we know the feeling all too well. Of course this doesn't compare...nothing ever will. :(

But we must go on, just like everything else. Must still have hope.

Although I couldn't help remember the words my co-worker Katrina said to me, shortly after I came back to work after the trip...

We were taking the shuttle back to our cars (the parking lot was under construction) and we sat together. She put her hand on my knee and said in a soft casual tone:

"Don't worry, you'll see your angel sooner than you think. In about 7 years time. And she'll be waiting for you with open arms."

Her words struck me & I asked her what she meant. She explained that, that day Pres. Obama had signed some deal with Iraq or Iran...something about nuclear arms. She said it was bad news & a big deal because it could possibly lead into a future war- a kind of war they talk about in the bible. A kind of war that would bring the end...she said it was coming sooner than we thought.

Those days my mind was so foggy I just smiled & nodded. But as her words rang in my head they freaked me out. I knew she was super religious & had always related everything to religion, but I remember going home googling what she had said just in case, and it was true that the President had signed some kind of deal that day having to do with nuclear weapons. And I never forgot her words since.

Of course I was less concerned with the end of the world. All I could think of was you, waiting for me with open arms....

This is what I thought of last night, as we slowly realized what was happening. But this time I was concerned. Also saddened & scared, to see how divided as a nation we really are.

I know you are safe. But I worry about your sisters & their future.

Like I told Sissy, we must go on. We must keep fighting for what we believe for. We must continue to live & love. And to have hope....that everything will be alright.
........

I love & miss you my little girl.

Every single day.

Today I saw your smile in this pic and it made my day.

Forever,
Your mommy <3

I think this was Grandma's & Pop Pop's last visit. :(