We survived another holiday without you. I'd like to say more than survive, thanks to Uncle Mikey & Joshua. Their visit made helped make it special. Of course there were still tears...but a lot of smiles & laughter too. I was grateful to have an extra hug & shoulder to cry on. Someone I don't have to pretend around....someone who knows me, my own blood. Just like Auntie.
It reminded me of the old days, but there was something different too. I didn't feel like the older, protective, mother-figure-like sister. This time it felt like the other way around. Like my little brother was my protector & I looked to him for comfort & guidance. I saw Uncle Mikey much more like a man that ever before & I'm so proud of him...we all are. <3
...........
We lit your candle during our small family dinner here on Thanksgiving Day before going to Tio's. We went to visit you at the gardens with Mikey & Joshua. It was the first time since the memorial & they got to see your plaque. Uncle Mikey agreed it turned out nicely & Joshua asked many questions. I tried to explain to him that there, is a place we go to remember you, but your beautiful spirit is free. And it flies around with the Haileyflies & in Heaven with the other angels.
He's so smart, cute & funny. But I'm sure you know that my girl. I'm sure you look after him a lot. I reminded him how he was your favorite. How you used to cart him around on your hip even as he got older. How strong you were even though you didn't look it. How you had that thin frame & thin arms like Daddy but had the strength of many...
The thing that made me most happy, my little girl, is that he played with your easel when he was here. He really loved it- writing & drawing with the chalk & dry erase markers. I told him how you used to come home every day after school & play teacher.
So I couldn't help buying him one of his own. The exact one you girls have, except in blue. He was so happy. He's a little artist like you. Something special to pass on...
We missed Auntie Zulen. Hopefully she can make it next time.
.......
Oh mouse. The older I get the more I realize how precious family is. What would I do without ours?
Like Sissy said, being around the family is always a comfort...always healing. The best form of therapy there is.
I have to remember this when I feel helpless & all I can do is seclude myself...& take on all this pain alone.
Because we are not alone.
We will always have each other.
Here or in the next life.
We will always be together.
I love & miss you so much. Every single day.
Forever,
Your mommy <3
Goodnight my beautiful angel.
 |
| At the Bristow House <3 |
 |
| <3 |
No comments:
Post a Comment