We are getting down to the wire- just a week left for Christmas. We aren't done yet with buying presents, but don't have too much to go. I warned your sisters that Santa was going to keep it simple this year.
Last year, he may have been trying to make them feel better for having such a devastating year & for going through so much...that he might of gone a little overboard. But we have to be realistic now...
I'm trying to go through the motions as much as I can baby girl. Right now, today, my heart is still. I'm floating...treading, instead of trying to swim against the current or struggling to breath between each crush of a wave.
I won't think ahead or look behind. Today I will try & just maintain in the stillness.
...........
There are always things that have a great effect on how still or treacherous the waters will be.
Last week your sister sang beautifully & excitedly during her chorus recital. Abby was there & came to talk to us before the show. I was so glad to see her- since it's been a while. She's funny & made us smile. She talked about how nice it is to see "everyone's Instagram light up" in April & May when they remember you in their posts.
She asked how we were doing & I said a little sad because Christmas is coming. Then she replied, "Yeah but what about Christmas & Jesus & stuff?" Translating that from teenager-ism to English (I've had practice with Sissy :), she was trying to remind us about the real meaning of Christmas. How you are with Jesus in Heaven & Christmas is about celebrating him...
It made me think for a long time after...& she's right my mouse.
Then Carly came to give us a big hug & it made my day too. They are a part of you. And for that evening, I was blessed to be around Daddy, your sisters, & friends- every bit a part of you that I treasure. <3
.......
There are many angels among us on Earth, if we open our eyes & look, feel & listen. Maybe you send them, maybe God, or Jesus...
Either way I'm thankful.
I will never stop missing you- my favorite angel of them all.
Goodnight my little girl.
Please visit me in my dreams if you can.
Forever,
Your mommy <3
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