Today Daddy turned 50! Hard to believe my mouse. We started the day with a nice breakfast. I woke up extra early to make sure Sissy could be a part of it before she went to school.
We woke him up by singing Happy Birthday & brought his gifts to bed. He loved his new Christmas tie, gloves & hat, Hanes undershirts & specially the silver chain with a cross pendant we got him. My friend Christina gave him one at your service but after a few times showering with it, it turned green & the chain broke. This one is a little nicer..
It seems to represent hope for him...& who doesn't need a reminder of that everyday?
We lit your candle during breakfast. Daddy sneezed & suddenly we were talking about how loud you used to sneeze (which you got from me). How Daddy used to crack up each time & I'd say "How does that big of a sneeze come from such a little mouse?!" :)
When Daddy saw the necklace, he told me he had just said a prayer the other day for all of us, asking Him to take care of you too. To let us know that all this is not for nothing & that you are not just at your resting place..."down there." That you are indeed in a better place...
Then I got an email back from the Executive Director from American Academy of Pediatrics- the VA chapter- apologizing for the late response to my phone call & email, but she did receive both. To let me know she would like to meet with me & the President of AAP to talk about the campaign for T1D awareness that Beyond Type One is sponsoring!!!
That she will get with him to figure out a date in January & if that's ok with me.
Oh my angel. I was in the car on my way to see you yesterday when I got the email & tears just started pouring out. I was so happy. I had a bad feeling she was trying to avoid me. Debbie had said not to worry if this happens- that not all states will be on board & not to be afraid to re-approach them at a later time...etc.
But being the only parent advocate for VA, I didn't want to let them down. I didn't want to let myself down. I didn't want to let you down...
I will need to gather all the bravery I can muster my sweet girl, but I will do it for you. I will drive down there....all the way to Richmond, by myself if I have to...with all the campaign material that has been mailed & emailed to me so far from Debbie & Beyond Type One & I will be make my case as to why I believe it's so important that all doctor's offices & clinics in VA be required to educate parents about Type One.
How much more evidence do I need after all? I lost you. My beautiful precious daughter. Isn't that enough? And if I cry & get emotional, & wear my heart on sleeve....exposed & bleeding, maybe they will see why it's so important. Maybe they will see that this is not a joke. That real lives are at stake...
Baby girl, it was great news that they've agreed to meet with me. I let Debbie & the crew know & they are all happy. They say 2017 will be a promising year for this campaign. They have offered all the support I need & have let me know how proud they are.
I don't want to get to ahead of myself. I don't want to go there thinking 100% that we will all be on the same page. I know how this stuff works. I've been in the medical/insurance field for a long time now & I know there is a lot of red tape, gray areas...a lot of bs. :(
But at least I would have tried. Even if broken hearted, it won't be done half heartedly.
........
This is one of those "Band-Aids" that I've talked about. One of those wonderful things that happen that temporarily repairs the hole in my heart.
That & the fact that not only Daddy but all of us have made it this far, when just a year ago we didn't know if we could.
Daddy & I cried this morning thinking of you, missing you. But we also made a promise that we'd try to go on. That we would continue our lives living for the best things that ever happened to us- each other, you & your sisters.
We love you baby girl.
Today, tomorrow & always.
Forever,
Your mommy <3
 |
| Daddy as a baby. I know you would of gone crazy over him. :) |
No comments:
Post a Comment