Just another day

My angel,

The days keep moving along & Spring is in full force now. Yesterday as Daddy & I cleaned the backyard that was full of weeds & dead leaves- we saw two things.

First this mama bird on its nest underneath the deck:

My first instinct was to call the girls down to show them...including you.

I knew how much you'd love to see it, so I took a picture. I still want to show you things & tell you about them. I still have the urge to share our lives with you so much my angel...
...

The other thing I noticed while we were back there cleaning was the group of boys playing basketball in the backyard. Most of them were in your grade, I recognized almost all of them. I rather not say their names mouse, but if you were watching them you know too.

I can't describe what it feels like to see them; growing up; playing; being alive & enjoying their youth...thinking you should too.

Then ignoring them, or them ignoring us....knowing that if you were here, you'd be your typical sassy self to them by either laughing or teasing them & they back at you.

I saw the little boy who would ride the bus with you & always wave at me "Hi Hailey's mom!" and I'd wave back. One day you yelled at him, "It's not Hailey's mom to YOU. It's MRS. E" laughing at him & sure enough, he called me Mrs. E ever since...The same boy who had a big crush on you.

I wanted so much to go over there & remind him of it & see if he remembers...& share a moment of recollection. To share a moment of you with someone who knew you, remembered you & cared for you.

But instead we kept to our business.

Just another day.

Maybe one day...

I know this will never be easy. I just wish it didn't still hurt so much baby girl.
...

Your cousins will be here tomorrow & leaving at the end of the week. Easter won't be the same this year without them. But we have something nice planned anyway. Still needed to do something & get away baby girl. Just us- the family.

We really need it.
...

I saw another butterfly yesterday when I took Bella, Natalia, Daniella & Rocky to the park. A big black & blue one, then two little yellow ones.

I still find you in everything beautiful.

In the flowers that bloom in the spring. In the butterflies fluttering freely in the blue skies. In the mama bird incubating her baby egg...

 

You are & forever will be,

In our hearts. <3

Love,
Mommy