Snow

My sweet Hailey,

I didn't get a chance to enjoy any snow days with your sisters yet. I was at work & sleeping at a hotel for the first 3 days & came back to your sister Bella being sick, on her 10th birthday. :(

It was a big storm; more than 30 inches! I can't remember us getting that much snow when you were here. In fact, according to the news it was "record breaking", so we probably didn't. Oh, how you loved the snow...

So much that you didn't even mind helping me shovel the driveway. You & Bella, would look for any reason to be out in it. You didn't mind one bit.

I thought so much about you my girl. All the memories of the years past flashed through my mind. I just remembered your smiling face, that beautiful smiling face.

Last year.

You didn't miss much though, my mouse. The snow turned into a blizzard on the second day & by the time all was said & done, it was piled up too high to play in, too soft yet to make a snowman or snow angels.

                                                            Not like the years past...

Winter Memories

But your sisters have been off school & they are enjoying that. Bella's feeling better too, so that's good. We'll be having her party at the bowling alley on Sunday. I can't believe she's already 10 years old my mouse. The same age you were. This thought, no matter how hard I've tried not to think about....stings me.

I have to just put it out of my head. I can't dwell on it or even share it, because I don't want them to either.

****
Sissy & I did manage to make Bella a cake & have her blow out her candles at least. I know you were there, looking over her shoulder. Listening to her wish...

                      I know you were there with us too on our trip. There was purple everywhere...

Cinderella Castle

Purple palms

We had fun baby girl; something I didn't know would be possible again.  Just to go away & see some place new, some palm trees & sunshine....Mickey & Minnie.. :)

Your sisters had fun too. It really warmed my heart to see them smile again. We got you some souvenirs too.

Seeing them smile again, gives me hope. And hope, is all we have to live on now, my angel.

It makes me forget, at least for a little while. I know that's what you would want too.

Hope is also this text I got from Sydney that made my day, that I will save forever...

It meant so much & it's so good to know, that even unintentionally I can help them in some way. It's a reminder too, how much we all love, miss & grieve for you...

Everyday, my sweet girl.

Hopefully, in the next snowfall we get, I'll take Bella out to go sledding, build a snowman, & make snow angels. We will look for you, like we always do.

Goodnight & Sweet dreams.

Love & miss you with all my heart,
Forever, your Mommy <3