A couple of years ago Papi went to Bolivia on his own & brought back some souvenirs. Just some small things- earrings & bracelets for you girls & these cute little Bolivian back packs for Daniella & Natalia. You fell in love with the back packs right away. Ever since then you said you wanted one. Papi promised that on his next trip, he would get you one....and you never forgot about that promise.
That's how you were. When you had your heart set on something, you never forgot. I usually would give in & buy whatever it was at the time; shoes, dresses, toys, etc. Every now & then I would say no & you would stay mad at me for days- not forgetting, not forgiving.....
Until I gave in. :)
I don't regret it now, of course.
When you learned about our trip to Bolivia to see my mom, the first thing you thought about was that darn back pack. It makes me laugh thinking of it now, because that's just how you were...
The thing that you were most happiest about, was that you were finally going to get one of your own & no longer have to envy the girls every time you went to visit them.
Of course, you didn't get the chance baby girl. And again my heart aches.
Believe it or not, that was in the forefront of my mind before leaving that place. I told Uncle Mikey that I had to get you the back pack before we left. I just had to. I explained why it was so important & he understood.
I just thought: at the very least, I can do this one thing for her. Even if it seemed so trivial, I knew it wasn't; because I know you. I thought: maybe it will help her rest in peace. Maybe if I don't get it... she won't.
So our last night there, just before all the stores closed; he came with me, Sissy & Bella to go find your precious back pack. We were on a mission.
Within minutes of closing, we finally found the perfect one. And I knew it would make you happy. We brought it home & it now hangs on your mini coatrack in your room.
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| Your precious back pack. |
Every time I see it, I think of you & it makes me laugh & cry at the same time. I think how you always had me wrapped around your little finger- me & Daddy. How you had that charm & sassiness about you that almost always got you what you wanted. That face you made when you didn't...
How you once showed Bella your "puppy dog" face that you used to melt me & Daddy's heart. How you told her to practice it... lol
How I never got to see your face when you finally got your darn pack back. How I never will. How I can only picture it in my mind.
How life is just so unfair sometimes.
I love you baby girl.
I know you see it in your room. I know you know we got it for you. I know you probably have one in every color in Heaven.
And that will just have to do, to ease my heart.
Until I see you again,
Always & forever,
Your mommy <3
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