Priorities

Dear baby girl,

It's another rainy day. Sunday. I wish it could be a lazy sunny day, but we have a lot to do as usual. Life continuous. We are always trying to have something to look forward to. Like next week, we are going to see Joshua for his b-day. :)

We haven't seen them since your service last year. It will be the first time going to see them without you. I'm trying not to dwell on that. I know you will be there with us in spirit. I know you will be happy that we finally get to see them after all this time.

We're going with Auntie & the boys, Papi & the family too, so it should be fun. It's also Gabby's b-day too. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go, because I'm out of vacation at work. But one thing I've learned this past year my mouse is that life is short & time is precious. Once we realize what's really important in life, like family, we have to make it a priority. You never know what tomorrow will bring. So you have to just go for it.

.......

Your sisters have been busy with their SOL tests. Sissy has finals coming up after we get back from Tennessee. Then they'll be done with this school year. I can't believe how time just flies.

On my early weeks at work when I get off at 3, I get home just in time to see the middle school kids being let off the bus. It would of been your bus. It never fails to bring me sorrow. I look to see if I recognize any of the kids, imagining you with a group of them, but I don't see anyone I know (many are moving out & new faces moving in). I imagine you, with that beautiful smile, wearing your glasses & carrying your book bag, excited to see me...getting in the car & driving home.

You would of been finishing 6th grade & getting good grades like your sisters. You would of been excited for the summer too, dragging me out to buy new bathing suits, probably making me buy the mermaid towels we saw at Justice last week (one of your favorite stores). I almost bought it anyway. I still might....

I love & miss you so much baby girl.

One day at a time.

.......

Tia Maggie came over the other day & it was nice seeing her. We talked for hours about many things, but especially about grief, love & God. She's very religious. I listened with an open heart & an open mind. I got a lot of things off my chest, she confirmed some of the things I've felt all along & opened my eyes to new ideas too. But the most important thing I got out of our visit was that- God never leaves us. Specially during times of despair. I do believe that he's had a lot to do with helping us heal, like helping us see all the signs you've sent, bringing people to help on this journey & like Auntie says -even bringing me Tia when I needed her the most.

Even though He couldn't save you my mouse, I'm slowly realizing that it wasn't in his power to do so. That, that is not his job. But he is watching over you for now, until I meet you there, reunited again with my beautiful angel.

.......

I've been writing on the other blog too:

https://haileyflies.com/


I've gotten a great response from Facebook- over 2000 views from the two posts. It helps me & maybe it can help another.

Well baby girl, your sisters & the girls are about to have breakfast. If the weather allows, we might go see you again. Or maybe church. I know either way, I know you will be able to hear us telling you:

How much we love & miss you, each & every day.

Fly high baby.

Forever,
Your mommy <3

The flowers I bought you Friday the 20th. The
only sunny day we had all week.