It's Friday night. Just got back from picking Sissy up from hanging out with her friends at the Promenade. Daniella & Natalia are spending the night so they can go swimming tomorrow. Earlier, we took Rocky to the vet to get a vaccination, went to register him to the place that we'll be using to board him when we go places....if we go places. Went grocery shopping, to Papi's for dinner...
Time passes. Days continue, rolling over into weeks & so on...
Busy is an understatement. Days off don't exist. Part of me is thankful, that we are even able to continue. The other part of me wants to just hit pause. To sit still, in silence....somewhere peaceful.
We did at least get a chance to escape, last Sunday. Daddy had the day off & we found a cool little spot in Maryland- really peaceful & laid back, near the water:
We even took Rocky with us. It was his first time in the water that we know of. He was kind of scared at first but slowly got used to it- but actually had more fun digging holes in the sand. :)
After we swam, we went hiking for the first time with Daddy. It didn't take much to convince him since it lead to another beach area close by. You know Daddy, he loves the water. Even with all the jellyfish, he still jumped right in & swam for a long time. Bella stayed by the shoreline & Sissy, Rocky & I just soaked up the sun...
We saw many Haileyflies my mouse. Nature always makes me feel closer to you, closer to God. It was nice to just get away, even if it was only for a day.
Oh! and Bella found a shark tooth at the second beach we hiked to! It's well known for fossils & shark teeth, but the people there hunting for some said it was hard to actually find one. They were using special sifters and things...we were unprepared, but it didn't matter. She found one & she was so happy.
She said you helped her. :)
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| Calvert Cliffs |
It was nice baby girl. Of course we missed you. We are still getting used to trying new things on our own; new restaurants, going to new places...
But it's always as if I'm split in half. Happy to be making new memories with your sisters, but sad that you aren't physically there enjoying it with us. There is a feeling of sadness & guilt that creeps up. It even happens when I hear a new song or see a new movie...
I think; "Oh my mouse would of loved this song. Or loved this movie..." Sometimes I ask your sisters if I'm not sure; did this song come out before or after? Did Hailey know this song? And if the answer is yes, then it almost makes it ok for me to be singing along to it. I turn up the volume even, picturing you liking it & singing it along too...
Oh, my baby girl. I didn't want this to be a sad letter.
So maybe now I'll tell you something good. Something happy. Yesterday, Carly came to visit us. :)
She went to the pool with Bella for a couple of hours, hung out at the house & then we went out for smoothies with Sissy too. It was so good seeing her. It made my heart happy to see them smile & have fun. The last time we saw her was at mass for your angelversary...when Papi said she looked so much like you.
I think it's the sweetness & beauty in her smile & light in her eyes that reminds us...Those warm hugs too. :)
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| <3 |
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| Catching up on gossip ;) |
I'm so glad you have friends that love you still & that won't ever forget you. That can talk about you & smile & laugh remembering....even if brings sadness too, they still remember. I will always love her for that.
It's as if I'm being handed a special gift baby girl. Beautifully & delicately wrapped with care. Once I open it, there it is....a treasure box of special memories, moments & secrets passed between you & them. And love. Lots of it.
After all, they knew a side of you that I didn't. You shared moments with them, that I knew nothing about. And I really appreciate them sharing them with me....I appreciate her sharing that with me. :)
It's a gift that I will hold on to forever. <3
We talked, smiled & laughed about the funny, sassy & loveable girl we knew & loved. That we miss & keep in our hearts.
We hugged with grief in our hearts too, remembering....
But we remembered my sweet angel. We will forever be connected by knowing you & loving you. We will be forever connected by remembering you.
Even if a hundred years passed by & we never saw each other or spoke again....
We knew of a beautiful girl named Hailey, who was one of a kind. She was full of life & love. She had the sweetest smile & the funniest laugh & she was the sunshine in our lives. Not only did we know her, but we loved her. And she loved us.
We were the lucky ones.
<3,
Mommy
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