Rainbow

Mouse,

Tonight we celebrated Sissy's birthday with her friends at a hibachi restaurant close to Auntie's. We had a good time & the food was really good. More importantly your sister had a great time. She looked beautiful with her pink velvet dress & knee high black (fake suede) boots, her hair straightened, nails done & all new makeup.

She looks like a young woman now- hard to believe she's turning 16! Soon she'll be driving... Don't even want to think about it even though it's right around the corner. I used to be excited about the idea of having her driving and being more independent. About sending her out to get milk & bread. :)

But ever since....I have met many & mean MANY bereaved parents who lost children in automobile accidents...

It really frightenes me. So I don't mind that Sissy isn't that eager to get her license right away. That is more than fine with me. The more practice she gets, the better.

......

We were feeling sad the last couple days planning for her party (ies), thinking of you...missing you & wishing you were here. It got worse for me as the time came closer. I was upstairs looking in my closet for something to wear, remembering how you'd be the one I always counted on to help me with those things. And I was really missing you little girl.

It's pure anguish sometimes, the pain I feel. I was in my closet trying to guess what you would say or what you'd pick out for me.

My room was dark even with the lights on because there had just been a small storm that passed. I opened the blinds to see a peach color sky that I've never seen before. Even though I couldn't see it I knew there was rainbow. I went downstairs out the deck & sure enough...just barely noticeable, just the tail end...

Faint but still visible to the left. 

I called your sisters up so they can see. Sissy said, "It's Hailey letting us know she's with us."  I believe so too. We all do. We smiled & teared up & hugged each other, feeling you close.

When I went to post the pic on FB, some of my other friends posted pics of a beautiful double rainbow in the same area. They had a better view but I'm glad we didn't miss it complicatley.

.......

I pictured you in the car, squished back there with Bella, Sissy & the rest of her friends; laughing, singing, carrying on... Being young, happy & carefree. Where you should be.

But I know my angel, that you are not far. That you will shine down on us & stay close, wherever we are.

The rainbow made our day even more special. <3

We love & miss you, every day.

Always & forever,

Mommy <3