Today was another typical Sunday, except for the fact that Sissy started her new job. :)
We went to tell you all about it at the gardens yesterday. She wasn't supposed to start training until next week, but they called her to start today instead.
I still can't believe it my mouse. It's hard to believe that just yesterday she was my little churquis...running around with her bushy curly headed pig tails & now she's got a job & will be driving on her own soon.
I think it will be good for her baby girl. In the beginning of the school year, I tried to encourage her to get more involved in after-school activities. But she doesn't like sports & even though she did chorus in the past she didn't want to continue (she said no one likes the chorus teacher) & although she loves music she has no interest in playing any instruments (we tried with piano lessons for about 6 months)...
I know the AP classes she takes are hard. I know she has to get up so early in the morning...when she gets home she's tired. I know it's been a hard couple of years. I'm always proud of her, but I worry too.
My hope is that this will be a good learning experience for her & she'll get to earn & save some money of her own. That it will give her a new sense of accomplishment.
I know she will do just fine. She's already been responsible with her applications & getting the interview & the job, worried about her work outfits, etc. Most importantly, she's excited & happy.
...
I don't forget about Sissy or Bella my mouse. Just because I think about you everyday...doesn't mean I forget them.
They don't forget about you either.
Friday, Sissy & I got up at 4:30 am & headed to Richmond. We got to the hotel ok & our table was ready to set up our booth. BTO sent me all the posters & even a table cloth last week. The only thing I had to do was make a poster board (which they told me about last minute so it was a little plain).
There were many organizations & booths, representing many causes.
Our table was just across the refreshments table, so right away there was a good flow of nurses that stopped to look & we talked to- even before the conference started.
If you notice, we brought your framed picture & placed it next to the poster board. It's the same one I keep on my night stand. The same one I say goodnight to every night.
I showed them your picture my mouse. I told them our story. I introduced them to Sissy. There was a lot of compassion & shock, to hear of how we lost you. A lot of admiration that we made it our personal cause to spread awareness.
Sissy & I agreed that if we had just been standing there, with the flyers & not told them about you- that it wouldn't of had the same impact. Our story made a difference baby girl. They took posters, said they would put them up in their clinics & share them with parents.
One nurse said she'd bring it up during the conference with the doctors.
There was a Hispanic nurse who gave us hugs- speaking in Spanish she told us to look to God when we need strength. That we will need him, just as we still need & miss you. To not forget. She also asked if I'd be interested in making a speech at her school. I gave her my info...
I can't remember what part of VA she was from, but there were school nurses from all over.
All were nice & sincere in their concern.
We did good my mouse.
I'm so glad I got to do this with Sissy.
...
We didn't stay all day. We were tired & had a long ride back, so we left the remaining posters & poster board. Their board meeting to decide on the campaign launch/mailing list was yesterday. We will hope for the best baby girl.
It is still hard to believe my girl. Even as I stood there, repeating our story to strangers, with tears welling up in my eyes...
It was as if I was telling them somebody else's story. Someone else's sad tragedy.
Even with everything that's happened & that we've gone through.
Even 2 years later.
It's still hard to believe. I still don't want to believe.
I still can't believe...
You were once here, earthbound & now you are not.
...
We will try to continue & channel our grief into something good baby girl.
Because your light still shines bright & it guides us. As long as it still shines, we will always follow it. <3
Forever,
Your mommy
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