Mom of 3

My little girl,

I woke up yesterday missing you & just wanting to stay in bed all day. Daddy & Sissy both had to work & it just didn't feel like Mother's Day. I woke up first, with everyone else asleep, missing the days when you three would come to my room first thing in the morning with Mother's Day goodies.

We did manage to get up early enough to go out for breakfast & beat the crowd.

Sissy & I remembered how you & Bella would wear your chef & waitress outfits sometimes (once on Mother's Day) & you'd love to take everyone's drink orders. How you would love when I ordered something different (like a smoothie or hot chocolate with whip cream on top, something other than OJ.). You would write it down on your notepad that you kept in your outfit. It's still in the kitchen, folded up with your pen & pad. <3

Christmas morning when you first got your
outfits.

...

After breakfast I had to go see you at the gardens. It's the place where I wanted to close my eyes & feel your big bear hug, smell the scent of your beautiful brown wavy hair...

And I did baby girl.

Through tears & prayers, I felt your hug & your sweet embrace.

...

I also got some goodies from Daddy & your sisters. Some cards & flowers in a pretty butterfly painted vase & a beautiful card from grandma that had a big purple butterfly. In the card she said, "You are a great mom." That means a lot coming from Grandma.

Bella gave me a facial & foot massage. A mini spa treatment at home. This is what really lifted my spirits. We talked about all the times you would stand right beside me while I was getting ready & helped me with my outfits, staring while I did my hair & make-up.

I told Bella I could picture you right there sitting on my bed Indian style smiling & staring while she was giving me the spa treatment. :)
...

From there I did get ready & went to Papi's for Mother's Day dinner, where tio made a delicious meal. I got to sit outside in the sun & see Auntie. It was nice my mouse. I'm glad I went.

I could of easily stayed home & felt sorry for myself. But that's not what I wanted to do. It's not what I want to be.

It's just the hardest thing to have to continue with a broken heart. To learn to live with only half of one. Sometimes it just gets too overwhelming.
...

Like I told you & your sisters yesterday- being a mommy was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I'm not perfect but it's the best accomplishment- the best & most important thing I will ever do & be in my life.

I wouldn't trade it for anything. Not a thing my mouse. Being your mommy for almost 11 years was better than nothing at all.

And the truth is I will always be your mom. No matter what. I will always be in my heart.

 I will always be the mom of 3.

I love you my sweet girls.

Today & always,
Your mommy <3