Patience

My mouse,

We were just talking about how you were so good at the "puppy dog face" to get what you wanted. How once I overheard you teaching Bella how to do it....saying, "See Bella, this is how you do it." I glanced over & you had the look down pat with the pouty lips & sad looking eyes. I cracked up then & it made us laugh now.

Yesterday we laughed remembering your big loud powerful sneezes, which we all agreed you got from me. I just can't help it. We laughed every time we heard you sneeze, I would ask, "How does such a big sneeze come out of such a little girl?" You would laugh in return.

We also talked about how you would bribe Bella to play babies. I would hear you sometimes whispering in her ear & I knew. I would ask you, "Hailey, what are doing?!" You would go silent...then get mad at her for being caught.

The other day while walking Rocky we recited ours & your favorite parts from Just Go With It. I told your sisters how when we watched it just recently I realized how inappropriate it was & I can't believe I let you watch it back then. I guess I figured you wouldn't even get the adult jokes, but either way it was one of your favorite movies. We laughed & remembered while walking back home...

All these precious memories that are so bittersweet my angel. Only because as much as they make me smile, they make me miss you too. So much that the ache in my heart gets bigger & it makes it hard to breathe.

I miss you so so much.

I love you so so much too.

I know you are making other angels smile & laugh in Heaven too with your big sneezes & puppy dog looks.

My mouse. I can't wait to see you again. Sometimes it feels like I can't wait anymore. But I remember that I'm not done here yet & your sisters still need me. That life is short & once I get to you our time together will be infinite.

I just have to hang on.

I know you will wait for me. Like the movie The Shack said, there is no impatience on your side. But there is in ours. I just have to learn, I don't have a choice.

Goodnight my sweet & beautiful girl.

Maybe I'll see you in my dreams.

Forever,
Your mommy <3