Memory

My mouse,

Going grocery shopping- there are still some things I do & buy in your memory.

For example today I bought the cheese you used to love: The Land O Lakes brand of yellow American cheese.

It had to be this brand & only the yellow....

You would stand right beside me in line to make sure I got the right brand. You would watch the deli lady slice & would always take a sample with your sister.
...

I still buy your favorite cheese my mouse & I always will, even when it's not on sale, just like before.

All these memories pop up in my head & pull at my heart & I have to share.

There was a time, specially in the very beginning when I couldn't even go to the grocery store. The memories were too painful- another reminder that you passed. The pain was so heavy...I couldn't even breathe.

There are times it still feels that way. Then there are times like today, when I could still feel you next to me as I stand there waiting for the deli lady to slice your favorite cheese & I smile. I silently remember & can manage to silence the pain with a tiny smile...

Then I catch up to Daddy in another aisle & as he looks at the price sticker on the cheese with a question in his eyes & I tell him.

He smiles too.

Our mouse & her cheese.
...

You will always be alive in our hearts our sweet baby girl.

There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think about you.

Today & forever,
Your mommy <3