Christmas has passed & we are moving on to the new year. It seems like the beginning of each month, each season, & every year that passes I'm telling you the same, because I feel the same- that I can't believe how time flies. That I can't believe we survived yet another month, another season...another year without you.
But here we are baby girl. Somehow, we've made it. Somehow we survived.
I don't just want to just survive things though, my angel. I wish it were different. I wish grief wasn't so uncontrollable, so unpredictable & unavoidable. I hate it for those reasons.
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Christmas was different this year.
I don't know how to explain it exactly. We went through the motions with the family, but it was seeing my sister at mass & spending the next day with just us, that I enjoyed the most.
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| Christmas mass |
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We were blessed to be able to exchange nice gifts on Christmas morning. This was one of my favorites from Sissy:
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| So sweet. <3 |
There are just some things that are worth more than gold, baby girl. And this was one of them. It was so sweet & thoughtful of your sister. It really filled my heart up.
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These little things, that include you, really make me smile. Remembering you & keeping you in our life in these little but big ways...really lift me up.
Buying Christmas gifts, even if they are just ornaments for you...buying gifts to your sisters on behalf of you....all these little new traditions that include you...
Christmas or even my life would not be complete without it.
Like described below- it's a "Happy Sorrow"
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Maybe for now, that's as good as it will get.
And for now, I'll take it.
I love & miss you my sweet girl.
When I need to see your beautiful smile, which is often, I just picture you. It makes me smile too.
Goodnight. Sweet dreams.
Love,
Mommy <3
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| <3 |
We looked forward to seeing you all at church the whole day sis. It will always be a part of our tradition also. Was thinking of sweet Hailey and feeling peace at the church too. Was missing Dad, the kids, Mike, and Mom. Even though distance separates us, our heart, spirit, and thoughts are together. 💜
ReplyDeleteGod will not abandon was the message I heard last night from a friend. There are things that happen or I hear about that makes me think about angels living among us and angels that still do work on this earth once they’ve left this realm.
ReplyDeleteOne of my childhood friends became practically homeless after a divorce. She sent people in her life a message for the New Year. Her and her daughter were going through a very hard time. She said that slowly she’s been putting their life together. She shared that she had gone to the store recently, she was looking at dining tables and chairs and wishing that her and her daughter were not eating off of a computer desk :( She began a random conversation with a lady and they clicked and connected right away. After their long conversation, they went their separate ways and Cristin thought she’d never see her again.
The lady was waiting for Cristin and her daughter at the checkout. She ended up buying her the dining set! Cristin was so overjoyed and was taken back when she received a note from this lady afterwards. The lady told her that she felt that God had given her a message and told her to buy this set for Cristin. She said that she thought it was kind of crazy herself but the message came loud and clear more than once during their shopping visit. Cristin felt compelled to share and told us the message she wanted to share was that we won’t be abandoned.
It was amazing to see that and I have heard many stories of people saying things like that. I know that is where Hailey is too babe. I can see her doing the work of angels and radiating light where she goes. 💜🙏🏼😇
That's amazing! There's still good people left in this world & I do believe they work with angels. I've had first hand experience with angels here on earth & our very own. 💜 I always say I know she's busy doing many great things. 💜 I'll pray for your friends too.
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