One step at a time

Baby girl,

It's been a long day & I'm glad it's finally time for bed. Or at least time to sit down & semi-relax. My thoughts as usual, are of you.

It seems like just yesterday it was Feb. 1st, but in a couple of days it will already be Valentine's Day. I've been wanting to stop by the gardens to leave you your gift, but it rained all weekend & today was just too busy. But we will be there by Wednesday. <3
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We have nothing really planned, but Daddy's off so maybe I'll make a nice dinner instead of going out.

Tomorrow, Sissy gets her official license through the courts. The process is different than when I got mine. Now the parents have to go to court with their kid & sign something for the judge saying it's ok for their kid to drive. If I thought Sissy wasn't ready, than I could say I don't approve.

But of course that isn't the case with Sissy. She's a responsible driver & she's definitely ready. The only incident that's happened so far, was with a girl from her Math class that hit her while trying to make way for an ambulance. Minor damage & thank God she was ok. But she made out with the insurance company because they paid for the damages & then some. She's going to save that to upgrade when she starts college...

I'm just glad it was nothing more serious. Buying that tank of a car for her was the best decision we made. It may be old & only driven by grandma's that we see on the road, but it's built strong. And I know you were watching over her. <3
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Things move so fast baby girl. Sissy's almost been at her job for a year. She filed her taxes for the first time. She gets her license tomorrow. She's signed up to take her SAT's in the Spring & she's already been getting letters from different colleges. She will start taking tours of the colleges soon...

She's pretty sure she's going to stay local, & still live at home throughout college...but there's always that chance that she won't. You just never know, things change so fast & anything can happen between now & then.
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She's been struggling with a couple of classes this year, so she's been working with a tutor in Math- a girl from school. Luckily they have a free program for the kids in advanced classes that can tutor for extra credit, so it's free. And it seems to be helping, she's improved in her last few tests.

Oh baby girl. I worry about her & Bella. Even though I know deep down they're ok, I just want them to stay that way. Not just to be ok though, I want so much more for them. More than I ever had. And I don't mean material things. I mean true happiness. Opportunities to find themselves, to learn what makes them happy & pursue that path.

It doesn't always have to mean love, kids & family. You can love a career & pets too. ;) I don't have any expectations. I just want them to be safe & happy.
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But one step at a time.

Your sisters give me strength to keep on going. And you too my angel. I want to make you proud.

Recently, I learned that the little boy from Texas that passed away from undiagnosed Type 1 last year- his mom hasn't been doing that well. I met her co-worker through FB when we had your Random of Act of Kindness day & when she heard our story she contacted me.

I learned then he was her co-workers only child & he passed away at home. They thought that he had the flu. :(

Through the holidays I thought about her- being the first year. But it wasn't until last week that I contacted her co-worker to see how she was doing & she told me that there was a point they (her & her family) thought she would take her own life. :(

That she moved from her house because she couldn't handle the memories. But that she's staying with family now & they are trying to help her.

It's sad baby girl. I can't say that I never thought about it. It just hurts so much...and at the time, it seemed like the only solution. The only thing that could stop the pain.

I think what stopped me was your sisters. For that I am thankful. But this woman doesn't have that. He was her only child. :(

I told her co-worker I'll be praying for her & I have.
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We continue to pray. Continue to fight. Continue to love...

That is the best we can do.

Not one of us here on Earth has a perfect life, & some worse than others. But still, we continue.
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I miss & love you my mouse.

Soon, it will be Spring. More reminders of you...

But for now, one step, one day at a time.

Forever & ever,
Your mommy <3