The day after Sissy picked your flowers out & I wrote about it, she said she had a dream about you. She couldn't remember all of it, but she knows you were in it. Then later at school, they played "Somewhere over the rainbow", the version we played at your service...
Maybe it was a coincidence. Or maybe not. <3
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Even now we experience these little moments. Like when we were at Uncle Mikey's & I was in the kitchen cooking, Uncle Mikey & Sissy were in there with me talking...
All of a sudden I felt a chill all over & I had goose bumps on my arms. I showed Uncle Mikey & he asked if I was cold. I explained to him how this happened only a few other times, like when I had your "last outfit" in my hands & I couldn't bring myself to wash it. I held it close, crying & all of a sudden I felt the same chill. Like an embrace. Again, goose bumps.
Then at the finish line at the JDRF walk, in 90 degree weather. Such an emotional moment, in tears, again, the chill, the embrace, goose bumps. Then again when Auntie & the boys were over one day. We were talking about you & just hanging out. I showed her then too.
During all those times, I know you were there with us.
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Just recently, I got this voicemail that was staticky...all I could make out was a voice that sounded like it said, "Hi Mom." It sounded like your voice baby girl.
It really took me by surprise. It was while I was working. I didn't recognize the number so I didn't answer...
When I saw they left a voicemail, I took a break & listened (always worried it's your sister's school or something important) & that's when I heard it. I played it over several times & each time it sounded like you.
I called the number back because I had to know who it was & it was a lady from work, Teresa that answered. I asked if she just had just called me. She said, "Oh I think I accidently butt dialed you, sorry. I meant to text you instead." Then we laughed about it & I hung up.
But she never left a message baby girl. And her voice sounds nothing like yours. Teresa is an older black lady whom I'd never even met until after you passed. She must of heard from others from work what happened & since the beginning, she would leave cards in my mailbox. On holidays & even your first anniversary- she remembered.
Even after many at work forgot- she remembered. She would leave me these sweet notes, just to let me know I wasn't forgotten & that someone out there was praying for us. I always thought of her as one of God's angels that he sent over to me, to keep me going & give me strength.
I later found out she lost her mom & her sister, so she knew about grief.
How weird I thought, that it was her & her number, with your voice & that strange voicemail. With her last card at Christmas, she had left her cell # & I had sent her a text to thank her for the card etc, but I never added her as a contact...
I don't know baby girl. I later had Sissy & Bella hear it. They both agreed that it sounded like you & that they could make out "Hi Mom" throughout the static. Sissy said though, "But Hailey never called you "Mom", she always called you Mommy. Even I still call you Mommy & I'm older." I know she's right. But it still so strange.
I told them about the same voicemail Dana's mom got when she switched to a new phone. Out of no where, a voicemail appeared with Dana's voice. She had us listen & sure enough it was Dana. The static too, but the message was different. It said something like, where were you? Or why didn't you pick up the phone? It was a strange message too...
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Sissy then told me about an episode on the show "Stranger Things" where the mom's kid calls her on her phone "from another dimension". That he's able to communicate with her through the radio waves. I've heard that before. We actually talked about it that same night we were at Dana's. Her brother Dean, is somewhat an expert on the subject & he went to explain to us about the different dimensions & the meaning of time, etc. Where our loved ones go after Earth- another dimension.
It's all too much for this letter baby girl. Yet I don't feel the need to explain it to you. I feel like you already know...
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I know it sounds crazy, even to me, who can feel & sense the truth in it. But all these things I talk about are not made up baby girl. They're actual things that happened. We could explain that it was a coincidence or that I read too much into it...
But in my heart & gut I know it's not.
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This life in itself is strange. It's filled with things we can't explain. But we given a gift of intuition for this reason. Some things we can't explain. We just know.
Things that I do know for sure- is that we are forever connected. Not only because I'm your mommy, but because of the love that we shared. Something so so special...my angel.
Nothing can erase that. Even though I miss you so much, I know you are never too far. <3
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I love you so much my mouse.
Always & forever,
Your mommy
P.S. I wouldn't of minded if you just called me "mom".
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Wow. That’s amazing! 💜🌹🌈
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