All these things

My mouse,

I'm finally getting a chance to sit down and write. I've been so busy this week with the kids, but sometimes we have to force ourselves to just stop and breathe. Because there will always be something that needs to be done, because it's never-ending.
...

Yesterday we celebrated your special day at Papi's, since him & Ayde are still away. We started the day with your favorite- French toast. Daniella was the only that's ever tried it, she said, at Denny's. Once we told the kids it was your favorite, they were all excited to try it and loved it.

<3

...

Even though they called for rain all day, it held back while we went to see you at the gardens, grilled hot dogs & hamburgers for lunch & planted some flowers for you in Papi's garden.

Auntie & the boys came, Alina & Maddy too.

We got cinco de mayo flowers. <3

<3

Ice cream cake from Cold Stone, Sissy and Natalia picked it out,
remembering how much you loved Oreo's.



Gift from auntie. <3



Your flowers...

This one's my favorite- African Daisy with some purple in it.

The girls were excited to plant your little garden too. The kids played outside, riding their bikes, even a game of basketball with Auntie. That's the nice thing about Papi's new place- their big back yard.

Even though there were tears, even though we felt sad as we sang happy birthday to you & the kids blew your candles out, we were together. In our grief & happiness.

It was nice to have them there my angel. I know you were watching. I'm so thankful for them.

They never forget. They don't judge. They're just there when I need them. And they love and remember you.
...

I started a fundraiser for Beyond Type One in honor of your birthday, through Facebook. We raised almost $200 for them in your name. Uncle Mikey & Auntie Zulen donated too. <3

I know that they were both thinking of you, wishing they were here with us. I missed them being around yesterday, but in spirit, they were.
...

All these little things baby girl- to remember & honor you.

Because we can't hug you or kiss your beautiful face.

All these things- to express our deepest love.

Because we are here & you are there, & by doing these things, we feel closer to you...



All these things...

To ease our pain & longing & direct it to somewhere good, to a good purpose...

To give us continued hope. To keep us one the side of light.....

To keep our faith in tact.

It's the best we can do.

All these things...

Because we love & miss you.

My beautiful girl.

I bet you are more beautiful now. It makes me smile to think of it. I could just picture you- smiling down with that radiant smile- with those bright eyes glistening. Feeling the warmth of your beautiful soul shining down upon us.

<3

Always & forever,
Your mommy
.