Louis

My beautiful girl,

There’s so much to catch up on & say, but what surpasses all tonight is the news of my dear cousin Louis’ passing, just a few days before Christmas. :(

It was unexpected, shocking & tragic.

We’re still trying to process it all. Everyone is devastated.
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Even though we weren’t super close, we grew up together & just recently he became active on Facebook & I feel like we were getting to know him a little better as an adult, even if just virtually. The last time I saw him was at Papi’s 70th birthday celebration. Him & his wife looked great, were  in fine spirits. He was always smiling, funny & down to earth. Just a great person.

It’s very sad.

His poor wife, Tia & Tio, his brother & sister...

I went to see Tia & Tio just after it happened & of course I knew, even before I saw their faces...oh babygirl. It’s a pain you don’t wish on anybody & this is just the beginning. :(

What a long road to healing they still have ahead of them. It brought it all back & even tonight my heart aches for all of us.

The feelings, the questions, the why why why? And even how, as we still don’t know exactly what caused his death.
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At Christmas mass, I prayed for the whole family & the two of you. I wonder if you’ve yet met in heaven? I’m sure you have. <3

Of course, Christmas was even more sad this year.

Daddy ended up going to NJ alone & came back on Christmas Eve. I didn’t have the heart to leave our family at such a sad time. I remembered how they were here for us & I had to be there for them. That is all we could do, but not a small thing. Showing support can save someone from drowning. I should know my angel. I’ve been lucky & blessed to have had many save me so many times...
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Now we wait for the funeral next week. Uncle Mikey is flying up. At least we have that to look forward to, we’ll get to see him for a couple days.

We’re starting the New Year with another loss my angel. :(

I know he’s in a beautiful place. The same as you. But it still hurts.

And for our poor tios and other cousins, the holidays will be extra hard because it will be forever marked with his passing.

Life is so hard babygirl. I know one day we’ll have all the answers. We will finally understand. But in the meantime what do we do? I know, live & love to the fullest. We try,  but it gets harder with each blow...

I love you babygirl. If you see him, give him a big hug from all of us. Tell him we love him & will miss him.

And one day, we will see you both again.

I can’t wait.

Love,
Mommy <3