My mouse,

It’s happening. I’m leaving for Bolivia next week with Bella & Papi. Your sister insisted. So many fixed feelings. I’ve been a wreck these last couple of weeks but I can feel people’s prayers lifting us up.

Tonight I talked to my favorite aunt-Tia Sonya & she assured me everything is going to be ok. We talked over some of the details. In the long run we hope that I’ll be leaving my mom in much better conditions than she is now. She said to look at this as a blessing instead.

I hope so. I’m trying babygirl.

I got words of encouragement from my friends & tonight from Mommy A. She said to remember that God loves us & will never leave us. She said to say those words out loud when I need them. And that she’ll be praying for us. <3
...

I’m trying not to worry, to get overwhelmed, to overthink...

I really went back & forth about your sister, we applied for her new passport because it had expired &     applied to expedite it.

Just like with daddy on the last trip...I told her if we got it in time she’d be able to go. That it was meant to be. Even expediting it didn’t gaurantee...but then we got it yesterday.

All I can do is pray everything works out babygirl. That’s all can do. That & have faith.

There is so much more in my heart & mind, but I have to go in the office tomorrow which means I have to get up extra early. Luckily I was able to get the time off for the trip.
...

I love you my mouse.

I talked to you yesterday, in your room, but I still wanted to write this letter. I have heard the word God so many times in the last few days...

And all I can picture is you, with your beautiful long flowing brown wavy hair wearing a white diamond princess tiara decorated with small white feathers. A beautiful long white princess-y gown & your angel feathers...

Glowing, smiling & looking down. Standing with other angels, but not as pretty as you...surrounding him. I see that & I can’t be mad or sad anymore.

I remember the purple necklace with the cross I found in the grass some weeks back & your voice in my head.

I surrender. I will trust. I will have faith.

But I still miss you babygirl. And it’s still going to hurt.

I’ll look for you.

Mommy.