The weather’s finally changing. Warmer, longer days & it’s also March. Maybe that’s why I’m thinking more of you. Not that I ever don’t...
But it’s been so crazy & so busy. With my mom & everything else. Ever since daylight savings I feel an energy change.
It may also be that things have been turning around for everyone. Good news all around our little family circle- finally. Finally babygirl. It eases my heart & mind. I can exhale.
Starting with my mom & then Auntie & Uncle Mikey.
...
Nanny’s words kept ringing in my head. When she said God won’t ever leave us. To have faith that everything would work out. I never gave up hope, but I had my doubts. But she was right. I have to call her & thank her. <3
It seems though that when my mind isn’t occupied on worrying or caring for others, it reverts back to sadder thoughts of you. Missing you. That familiar ache that I’ve learned to live with intensifies & I just can’t ignore it or make it go away.
I’ve learned that the best thing to do is feel it. Face it. It’s my connection to you- as much as my love is, so is my grief.
Bella felt it too last night- driving back from her ballet class. We were talking about that last day with you. Tears were falling. We miss you Mouse. We can’t help wonder all the what if’s... how things would be today if you were still here.
...
I went to sleep thinking of you & woke up just the same. I came downstairs for my usual first cup of coffee & I saw this purple glow coming from our sunroom. The rest of the house was still dark, the sun still hadn’t come out yet. I walked over to the window & saw this:
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| This is the true color, no filter. Never seen it so purple & blue. |
That’s where the purple glow was coming from. It was so pretty babygirl, so calm & quiet & serene. I had to take a picture to remember my angel.
It was reminder that you are everywhere & if we look hard enough, we will see you. Sometimes we don’t even have to look that far or that hard. You are in everything beautiful.
A sign from you. A sign from God.
The feeling is so strong my angel, I feel so humbled. And yet strengthed to go on another day.
I love you little girl. April is right around the corner. I will need more reminders I’m sure. But for today, I’ll take this one.
I will also remember to stay humble. To give thanks for all our recent blessings.
One more day babygirl, closer to you.
Forever & ever,
Your mommy that loves & misses you. <3
What a beautiful sunrise! I have never seen one that color. Hailey...beautiful soul. Radiant and cheerful, I can see her in all that radiating light too, sis. That’s where she is, I feel it to be true.
ReplyDelete💜
DeleteSome reason I had trouble commenting before and am now just able to publish a comment. Now I see that I have to sign-in to my blog.
ReplyDeleteIt warms my heart to know that good memories were made babe. It’s like Mom is getting a new chance at life. It’s beautiful too. I know there are people who don’t get this opportunity...sometimes they lose people and never make amends. It’s sad to me. I see that she is trying.
She really lights up when she talks about all of you coming to see her. She says that it did her so much good. She said that she really appreciates everything you have done. She said Bella is so sweet and caring and took care of her. She said it was so good to see Dad after so long. It puts my heart at ease too babe. To know that she is growing more fonder of her place. She keeps reminding me that it has 3 bedrooms...I hope I can see her babe. With all that’s going on, I feel weary. But, like you said, with gods help-it will happen. 💜