4 years

To read at the gardens:


My little girl,

Daddy said today was going to be a day of celebration, to remember your life instead of mourning it.

But as I sit here & type, all I think about..is how it's been 4 years. And how hard it is to believe, that we've lived this long without you.

So you'll have to excuse my tears, at least while I write this letter.
...

While I don't want to remember those last couple of days before you left, I can't help but think that was the last time I got to hold you & touch you & see your beautiful face.

I would of never imagined we could survive even a day without you. From day one, all I could ask God was why & how? To live without my baby girl, my heart, my life.

I didn't think I could.

But somehow, little by little, day by day I did. I knew I had to.

We all did.

Those days eventually turning into weeks, months & now years.
...

It's hard to put into words baby girl, how much we love & miss you.

I can't help but wonder how you would look, how you would be? How many boys would daddy have to be chasing away with a shotgun?

You are always with us, always in our thoughts.

I laugh picturing you in the middle of your sisters & cousins measuring each other's height, arguing about who's taller or guessing about who's going to outgrow the other. I smile listening to them go back & forth about stuff, imaging you right in middle...being just as loud & having just as much fun. Just like you all did when you were little....

Because that's the beautiful thing about love baby girl. Nothing can take it away. Not even death.

It's what binds us & what brings us close to you.

It's what gives us strength, even in the darkest days...
...

We have made so many wonderful memories, even in the short 10 years you were here. Even though we will never stop missing you, or wishing you were here...

You somehow still are.

We will hold & cherish those memories.

We will never forget.

We will make new ones, like the ones we're making now, just being together & remembering you.

I'm so thankful for that.

We will celebrate your life. We will shed tears. We will feel you close. We will love you forever.

Forever & ever,
Your mommy