Even though

My little girl,

April has arrived. My mom's birthday, in just a couple of days.

There is so much to catch up on, so much to tell. Even though I know you are watching, even though I know you are near.

Everyday we talk to you, think of you, talk about you, visit you often at the gardens...light a candle at the table...

Even though these letters are few, we include you every step of the way.
...

I'll start with the good news about Sissy.

Even before Christmas, she was busy researching & applying for colleges. It's been a process, new to all of us. She did early applications for all the ones that allowed it. We toured a few on Daddy & I's days off, two being a couple hours away...

Within months, we starting receiving acceptance letters to Mary Mount, Old Dominion, Radford & Towson; her third choices. Her first & second choices; George Mason & VCU put her on waitlists. She was a bit disillusioned, but I contacted the admissions office for Mason & she resubmitted her resume, got another teacher recommendation & Daddy went with her in person to speak to an admissions officer to see what else we could do to help her get off the waitlist.

Well, it worked baby girl. We got the acceptance email a couple of weeks ago. :)

We are so happy & excited for her, as I know you are too. When Sissy told us, the first thing that popped in my head was your bright smiling face, smiling from ear to ear. You cried, "Yay Sissy!!" I could hear your voice so clearly. <3
 ...

I'm so glad my angel. It's been stressful these last few months. A lot of pressure. A learning process, since neither Daddy or I went to a "real" college. I went to a community college, but it was much different. I went in person to apply, register & pay from my own pocket...

I do have to give Sissy a lot of credit though, for doing most of it on her own. Application time was right around the holidays, when we were busy with work, home & grief. When I did offer to help, it seemed like we often butted heads instead.

But that's all forgotten now baby girl. It was all worth it in the end.

She deserves this opportunity. I always wanted this for her. My heart couldn't be happier.
...

So a new chapter begins baby girl.

From this thought, I could write 10 more letters.

Besides happiness, there are many other emotions. My first thought is Bella.

But that will be for another letter.
...

This one, is about Sissy. Her prom, graduation is next. Orientation for Mason. All in the next couple of months.

But first we have to get through your anniversary & birthday, my mouse.

My heart forgets all else & the ache returns.

My eyes well up with tears, making it difficult to type.

Another year.

Another year since the last time I saw you. Another year closer to the next time I'll see you.
...

Even though I know you are near, I miss you.

Even though I know you can hear my thoughts, I wish you could reply back.

Even though I know I'll see you again, I wish it wasn't so long to wait...

Even though I know you are in heaven, I wish you were here with me.

Even though I'm happy. I am sad.
...

I'm sorry.

I love you my mouse.

Always & forever,
Your mommy

<3

<3