Babygirl,

I’m still standing, even after feeling knocked down these last couple of weeks. It’s been hard. No need to explain since I feel you close. No room for negative thoughts tonight either.

But I’m trying, my angel. That’s all I wanted to let you know.

For tonight, just know that I love & miss you but I can feel you close.

I woke up from a dream of you & your sisters this morning. More vividly I can remember your face, smile & hair. You were so small, maybe about 6 or 7. Prancing around in the drugstore, someplace like Walgreens. I said it was time to go & was in the checkout line. When you & Bella appeared, dumping everything you wanted on the counter. I didn’t see Bella or Sissy but I knew they were there. I looked down & saw two identical curling irons in a basket. I could hear whispers behind me, I knew one was yours, "It’s like the one that Ayde has.”

After it was rung up & paid for, you happily grabbed the plastic bag & took off in front of us. I called your name out & said “don’t get too ahead of us!” As I watched you skip ahead, I watched the back of your head with your curls bouncing up & down & thought how you didn’t even need a curling iron because your hair was already curly. :)

And that was it before I woke up my angel. Strange. But still glad to see your beautiful face & hear your voice.

I got a little sad remembering it was just a dream. But later I smiled thinking of how real it was. When I told the girls, Bella said “yeah that’s something we would do. When we went to a store with you, we were scandalous.” But when she asked why buy two when they were exactly the same? Both Sissy & I answered “you NEVER shared anything. We would always buy 2 of everything” lol So true.

Got a good laugh out of that.
...

I’m thankful for all the memories. For the smiles & laughs. I’m trying to look at the positive of things  babygirl. I’m trying.

I love & miss you. I look forward to seeing you again in my dreams.

Forever,
Your mom <3