Letters to Hailey : 2 months. 2 rainbows.

Dear Hailey,

We were just talking about rainbows the other day, and then this happened yesterday.

Double rainbow :)

You made your sisters happy.

You made Daddy happy for Father's Day.

And you made me happy too baby. After having a scare at the hospital (don't worry, long story but I'm ok), feeling really weak and down, it was exactly what we needed. A sign of you, showing us that you're ok, and that everything will be alright.

Bella was singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

While we were watching the rainbow from the back yard, the kids, Ayde & Caroline were watching from their back yard too. Auntie said all the kids were screaming because they knew it was you. I know you were looking down and smiling, and we were smiling too.

I know nothing will bring you back into my arms. Nothing will ever replace you. I will always long for you & miss you. But these signs help ease my heart a little. It gives me a little peace & joy.

I love you so much my baby girl.

We took Daddy out to breakfast at Ihop, for Father's Day. We started the day tearing up there. We got Jennifer as our waitress, the nice one with the great memory, that has known us since you girls were little. She noticed right away that you weren't there. I told her. She immediately got choked up & walked away. She came back, said she was sorry and gave me a big hug. We all had tears running down our face. I gave her an extra tip, with a little note on the receipt, "Thanks for remembering our daughter Hailey."

I know there will be more moments like these. There are some places we have avoided because of this. Your favorite kabob place at the mall, where you loved the bread & white cucumber yogurt sauce. As soon as the lady would see us walk up, she would starting ringing our order because she already knew. The pizza place down the street, where the owner is so friendly & likes you girls, & who gave us an extra mozzarella stick the day you found out Zayn left One Direction...

Today we didn't avoid the Ihop, but I ordered and ate your favorite hash browns. We don't know what the rules are, if any. We just do what we feel is right in our hearts, or what feels comfortable. We are slowly learning how to go on. But it's not easy.

After breakfast, we all went to see you at the gardens. Papi, Ayde & the kids bought you this beautiful arrangement with a purple beaded necklace hanging down. It was knocked down because of the rainstorm that passed through yesterday. We fixed it and talked to you.

Daddy stayed behind a few more minutes after we said bye. I don't know what he said to you, but I know he was hurting. He's been so good about holding it in, and being strong for us that when he has his moments with you, it hits him hard. We all went to hug him, reminding him how much you loved him & still do.