It's been raining most the week. I was thankful for the cool-down at first, but now I'm ready for some sunshine. I wish there was a happy medium to everything, & never an extreme of one way or another.
It's been a busy week. Your sisters have had their SOL's, soccer, and Kayla's chorus concert. Plus, you know I went back to work. Monday, Bella's soccer team had a pizza party over at Tony's. Remember Daddy's favorite, closest-to-NY pizza place? We sat with 2 of the parents that happened to be from NY. I could tell right away, with the accents & all. We talked about missing NY, but never wanting to go back to live.
Bella got a participation medal & the coach's daughter made cupcakes. Then the kids went to play outside. I also saw my high school friend, the assistant coach's wife. Remember I recognized him during their first practice, from all the pictures she posted on Facebook? We laughed about that. I thanked her for coming to your service. I saw her at mass, but never got a chance to speak to her afterwards. It meant a lot that she came.
I didn't forget how you wanted to start soccer too, after watching Bella play. Specially after that first game, you got excited thinking about buying cute new cleats & wearing a uniform. Bella wasn't too crazy about you "copying" her, because she wanted soccer to be just her "thing". I hope you get to play in heaven baby girl....I know you're wearing the cutest cleats of all the angels.
Bella is thinking about going back to gymnastics this summer. She said it was fun when you both took the classes last year at the Freedom Center. Then she wants to back to soccer in the fall. We'll see...I'll support her in anything she wants to do, as long as she still enjoys it.
Same for Sissy, who had her last chorus concert on Tuesday. Daddy met us at her school since it was since early day. They did great as usual, but when they sang Bohemian Rhapsody they got a standing ovation. It was so awesome. I know you were there, but I recorded it just in case:
https://youtu.be/JHQELk5f_ZA
Sissy said you & her would sing that song in her room, so it wasn't easy for her. Even during practice, she got teary eyed. She even had second thoughts about going to the concert. I left it up to her, and she decided to go. I'm so glad she did. We were very proud. I got teary eyed too watching.
It's kind of sad that she isn't going to do chorus next year. She said she wants to try something new. That's ok too. It's good to try new things to find out where your real passion lies. Then just go for it. She says she wants to do something involving music in college. That she plans to restart piano again in the summer and learn guitar. Her goal; to overcome her shyness of singing in public.
I support her too. I just reminded her that music is a tough & competitive field. But if you want something bad enough, willing to work for it, then you can make it happen. Dreams are good...but have a plan B just in case.
You always wanted to be a teacher. The 'baby whisperer", so good with kids. Always loving & patient, playful...you were so amazing baby girl. No one plays with your easel anymore. But I leave it in the living room anyway. Along with all your binders & workbooks. Your eraser & expo markers...it's all there. Sometimes when papi's kids come, they play with it. Bella said in the summer she wants them to come over to play all the games you made up for them to play, like "Group B". I know you'll be here when they do, making sure they play the right way. :)
I try not to grieve for the future. What could & should of been...I picture you in heaven surrounded by many angel babies. Teaching, loving & caring for them.
I want to believe that even in heaven, your dreams came true...that you got your chance, still, at happiness.
You were my dream come true; all my girls. I didn't know it then of course. It wasn't until I became a mom of 3 beautiful girls that I realized, this is what I was meant to be. And I will always be, a mom of 3..
I love you all the way up to the sky. My beautiful angel..
If you can, please come visit me in my dreams. I miss you.
Forever your mommy <3
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