Forever young

My sweet girl,

 

I love this picture of you. This is the Hailey I always remember, my sweet mouse. This was taken on one of our walks, when we lived at the apartments.

You wanted to take your baby pig (the soft fuzzy one that belonged to Kayla since she was a baby) on a walk. You were semi-embarrassed to have your friends at the park see you pushing a baby stroller carrying a stuffed pig. You hesitated for a minute, but then decided to go for it. That's how bad you wanted to take him for a walk. :)

You & your sisters were always tall for your age. As you can see, the stroller was really low & it took effort for you to push it the entire time. Yes, you were tall but you were also probably too "big" to play with a baby stroller.

But you didn't care. You didn't care that you were too tall, or too "old." Which by the way, you weren't. Just 9 years old. You didn't care that your friends would see you & tease you (which they didn't really). You just took some baby blankets & carefully wrapped that pig, settling it nice & comfortably on that stroller. It was so cute I had to take a picture. You didn't care about that either...

You loved babies, even the stuffed animal kind. You were still such a kid underneath that sometimes sassy, little miss diva. I always loved that about you. You kept the kid in all of us alive. Even Bella, who wasn't as crazy about babies as you, but still played with you as sisters do.

Youth & innocence are the best part of our lives. It's when everything is pure. Everything is golden. Carefree.

This day & age, it doesn't seem valued as much. It's not toys & babies, it's Ipads & Iphones. I know you loved your phone, but you loved being a kid more.

You passed away still believing in the tooth fairy & Santa. Even though you had started to get suspicious the last couple of years. Wondering why Santa's wrapping paper was in the garage? Where did the tooth fairy live & what did she look like?

We wanted to hold on to your innocence as long as possible. I always felt I grew up too fast. Half by circumstance & half by choice. I wish I would of listened to my Dad & Mom when they tried to warn me. But no, I had to learn things the hard way. Daddy too. It wasn't fun. I didn't want that for you girls. I still don't...

You will never have to go through it baby girl.  You were just a couple of weeks shy of your 11th birthday, almost the same way you were in this picture...

You will stay young & beautiful forever... our sweet angel.

This is one of the images of you I will always keep. I will keep it & remember what you taught me; love, kindness & laughter.

I will not let losing you harden me & let my soul turn bitter. I love you too much for that. You taught me better than that. I will try & keep that small part of me that is young & alive forever. For you.

All your babies & stuffed animals are still in your room, resting nice & comfortably on your bed. Covered in blankets...just the way you left them. Bella said she's gone in there a couple times to make sure they're ok & fed, just like you would of wanted. So sweet.

We're always thinking of you Hailey.
I know you are tending to all the babies, angels & stuffed animals in heaven.
You were always such a good mommy.

I miss & love you so much my beautiful girl.
Sweet dreams...
Come visit me if you can...

Forever your mommy <3