Don't worry

My sweet Hailey,

The summer continues to wind down. We are trying to prepare for back to school & also my upcoming surgery this Friday. I just wanted to let you know that I probably won't get to write for a few days. I hope not to be in the hospital long, hopefully just overnight. That will be long enough for me.

Grandma & the girls are coming down Thursday & are staying a few days to help out while I recover. I'm really glad they'll be here. I'm sure we can use the help, but most importantly just to have their company. Your sisters are already a little nervous, so having your cousins here will be a good distraction.

I'm looking forward to feeling better after this is over. I was a little hesitant to go through with it at first. But I've been in so much pain & discomfort now I can't wait. It's taken me away from being able to do other things I had planned this summer. It's the last thing I needed. But as everyone has been saying, my health comes first. I still have your sisters to think about, so staying healthy has to be my top priority. Both mentally & physically...

Oh baby girl, there is so much more I want to say but I will leave it at that.

I will close my eyes tonight and try to listen for your sweet voice again telling me, "Don't worry mommy, everything's going to be alright."

Just like I did that once, in the first few weeks we got back...laying in bed crying for you with Daddy holding my hand. All of a sudden I felt this powerful feeling surge from our hands all the way up my arms into my heart, & I heard it. Your sweet voice. So cheerful, telling me those exact words...and it made my heart almost stop. Your voice was so clear and the feeling so real. I thought for sure Daddy felt & heard it too, but sadly he didn't...but I've never forgotten it baby. I still try to listen for it, by closing my eyes & thinking of that night. When I start to worry, I just listen for your sweet voice.

I will always be listening for you....looking for signs of you....thinking back of our memories of you, my sweet angel.

And when it's time, I will be with you again too...

I love & miss you.

Forever & ever,

Your mommy <3