March

My little girl,

We move into the month of March. It definitely feels more like Spring now. The sun is shining & the birds are chirping. The girls & I have been on a couple of walks and a visit to the school playground with Bella, Daniella & Natalia. A breath of fresh air & a little bit of sunshine does wonders for the soul & I'm thankful for it.

I've been meaning to tell you about something exciting that's going to happen this upcoming weekend. We're going to meet the family of little Reegan. A little girl from North Carolina, who passed away from Type 1 a couple of years ago. She was only 4 years old. :(

After she passed, her mom worked really hard to pass a law that would encourage doctors to test for Type One and educate parents about the disease, starting from birth to age 5, during every physical. It's called Reegan's Rule & it passed in January, in her state. :)

Can you imagine my little girl? If that rule had already been in place ages ago? :( It breaks my heart over & over again...

But it's so admirable what she did, in honor of her little girl. And to hopefully save more lives. I think I told you about her a couple months back. She's the mom that I talked to on the phone and said to me. "I don't know you, but I love you." I never will never forget that...

So this Sunday, they will be celebrating the passing of the bill. It's really an amazing accomplishment. I had been thinking about going, even mentioned it to your sisters. But it wasn't until a lady named Debbie (who's son also has Type 1 but thankfully didn't pass away; but was very close), called me and asked if we wanted to ride down together!

I was so honored she asked. She's a big advocate for the awareness of Type 1 & has done many wonderful things for the cause, my mouse. She's been on TV & thanks to her there will be an article on Reegan's & your story being published next month!

A reporter from a local health magazine in VA, contacted me a couple of weeks ago & I shared our story & your picture. It was heartbreaking for me to relive the details, my sweet girl. I was depressed all week, like it just happened. The same week I saw your purple butterfly at the mall...You knew I needed a sign from you. <3

It was hard, but I knew it's something I had to do. Maybe the first step of many more to come, my angel. I feel that God somehow has placed us in each other's path, because we are on the same journey.

I met them all through your page on FB: Hailey's Angels. What started out as a memorial page, more for myself....has led me to so many other sites & groups. Not only bereavement groups, but more specifically parents who also lost their children to Type 1...And awareness pages of this hateful disease. The more I learn, the more I cannot just turn my head away. No matter the pain it may bring, I can't stay silent.

It's really amazing that I will get to meet these moms, these wonderful women who I admire & give me courage, my mouse. I get really emotional talking about it. It's the best but worse feeling knowing you are not alone. You don't want to be alone in your pain, but you don't wish it on anyone else either.

Oh my little girl. I would give my life for yours. I would give anything...

I miss you so much. But I can't & I hate it.

So I have the choice of being swallowed up whole but all this hate, all this pain....or use it to channel on fighting the real enemy: This disease that took you away from me.

But it will be in a way that will make you proud. In a way that will honor you & the beautiful person you were & the life you lived....And I know I won't be alone in doing it.

When I told Uncle Mikey that I didn't know if I'd have the strength to do what Reegan's mom did, he said, "Hailey will give you the strength."

I know he's right. I know you will.

I swear I will try. That much I can promise.

I love you my sweet angel.

Yesterday, today & always.

Forever,
Your mommy <3

https://www.facebook.com/Reegans-Rule-263959720450926/