I finally get to write to you again. There is so much to say & share, even though I know you are always around watching. I still look forward to the times I can sit alone with my thoughts & write to you....
Today is the last day of Spring Break for your sisters. We made the best of it, considering. They had fun visiting your cousins in NJ. They spent a day in NYC walking around, taking pics, shopping, eating & people watching. Bella got to see the Brooklyn Bridge up close...something that had been on her bucket list because she "was born in Brooklyn & never even saw it before!"
Sissy really loves it there, which amazes me because NY is chaotic & noisy...the opposite of her. I guess she takes after me in that way. I've always loved it too. The city has so much energy that excites me- all the history, buildings, culture, people, food...every thing but the stink of the streets. :)
She even has NYU on her college wish list! I don't know my mouse. I trust Sissy. She is super responsible & very intelligent, but you also have to have a certain amount of 'street smarts' to survive in a city like that....
The thought of her there alone scares me. :(
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| Not allowed to show pics of your cousins :/ |
Oh my little girl....I can remember like it was yesterday being pregnant with you & working in Manhattan. Craving cheesecake with strawberry topping & walking down to the bakery during my lunch break & buying a $4 slice (but worth every penny).
Feeling extreme morning sickness on that hour long bumpy bus ride into the city every morning, made worse when I got off the bus, smelling that lovely mixture of urine, smoke, & greasy bacon coming from the streets. It got so bad, I had to carry a puke bag with me at all times those first few months, haha....:}
I would do it all over again. A million times over, my angel.
*******
But I wanted to share the best thing that happened while they were there...
Bella spotted your teacher Mrs. Stroud right there in the middle of China Town!! It was so amazing, Hailey. No one could believe it, not even her. Bella saw her walk by with her husband & cried out, "That's Mrs. Stroud!!" Everyone turned apprehensively & looked & sure enough, it was her. :)
Daddy ran with Bella chasing her down the street before she got lost in the crowd. Once they caught up to her, she said "Get out!!" shocked too. We all were.
Maybe that's why it took a little while to realize the significance of it. The more & more I thought about it- The fact that in a city of millions, your favorite teacher from last year; the last teacher you loved; the one that did so much for us after.....was right there at the same time & same place.
What are the chances?
I don't believe it was just a coincidence, my angel.
I know it was a sign from you letting everyone know you were there. And you knew it had to be a "big" sign after all- in such a busy place, with so much going on...
During those moments I feel the rage
That threatens to rise inside of me
Or the darkness
That threatens to cover me in a veil
As I fight internally within
To accept the hands of faith
That reach for mine
To set me free
I close my eyes & bow my head
I think of your signs
And I'm once again rescued
Again & again
Thank you my angel. Thank you to the God that strives for me to see the light.
While I don't believe in all miracles...I do believe in that one.
As long as you don't give up on me; I won't either.
I love you my Hailey & I miss you.
Always & forever,
Your mommy <3
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