Foo Fighters part 1

My beautiful baby girl,

It feels like a whole week has gone by yet it's only Tuesday. After a great weekend, we are back to the grind of daily life, back to "normal".

I'm sure you know how great our weekend was because I felt you close several times babygirl. I'm sure you were there with us as we headed south to see one of our favorite bands; the Foo Fighters. I'm sure you were there when Sissy was back stage with Uncle Bri Bri & she got to meet all the band members. I know you were so happy & excited for her. :)

I know you probably laughed at your mommy watching her dance, jump, sing & scream her head off like an old teenager, with Daddy too- his first FF show.

I know you probably were because I felt goosebumps a couple times & I felt as if you were there giving me a big hug, feeling happy that I was happy, at least for that very moment. It's as if I heard you say, "Finally mommy! Yes, you're happy, you're having a good time! Good, finally, it's ok."

I know it sounds crazy to others my angel, but there are times when I hear you say things to me & this was one of them. <3
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We needed this weekend babygirl.

Everything worked out so smoothly that Sissy & I believe you may even had something to do with it, because everything fell into place so perfectly. It definitely felt as if a higher power was at work.

From the moment of luck when Uncle Bri ran into Dave's mom & rekindled their old friendship, to the next day when she gave him passes to go backstage to see the band & rekindled their old friendships...

Next thing you know, the day of the next show, Uncle Bri was given all access back stage passes, just two. I could of gone there back stage & took that second pass but I didn't. I knew it wasn't meant for me. I knew it was meant for Sissy. She's become such a huge fan, plus I've met them before.

She was so incredibly happy & we were all happy for her. It was like it was meant to be. Everything that had to happen, for her biggest wish to come true, did.
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We went to visit you at the gardens on the way back to tell you all about it & thank you, my sweet girl.

At the same time, just as I was overcome with joy the night before, I was suddenly overcome with terrible grief & I had to see you & talk to you.

I don't know what came over me other than I just missed you. That's it's almost impossible to feel complete joy & happiness without also feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt & sadness, because you should be physically here sharing all these special moments with us.
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It's hard to balance the two my angel. It seems like it goes from one extreme to the other. I didn't want that to ruin our weekend, so I tried to remember the goosebumps, your embrace & your words; "it's ok to be happy mommy."
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Well my angel, I will have to continue this tomorrow. I am so extremely tired & tomorrow will be another long day.

I love you to the moon & back, around the whole universe.<3
Forever, your mommy <3