Fall to Winter

My beautiful girl,

November is coming to an end & the feel of things are transitioning from Fall to Winter. Like we're stuck in the middle, or the weather can't quite make it up it's mind.

It's nice during the day, but freezing at night & in the mornings. Sissy has learned about warming her car up in the mornings & defrosting her windows. All our beautiful mums in the yard have died. But the leaves are still on the trees however fast they're falling & just the other day, Sissy & I saw a Haileyfly on our walk with Rocky. <3

The same color as the leaves. It let me get me real close &
stood there long enough for me to record & take pics. :)

At the same time, your pumpkins at your place in the gardens were ready to be thrown away. :( And because you're always the first one on your mommy's mind, I went to Michael's with Sissy & we picked out the most beautiful Christmas flowers & decorations & your plaque was the first thing we decorated for Christmas.

 























We're going to add more in the next few weeks, including your tree. As long as I'm alive baby girl, your place in the garden will always be the prettiest. <3 I love you.
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We also got an artificial tree from Sissy's job. With the black Friday sale, plus her member discount, we got a pretty good deal. It's not the same as a real one, with that nice pine smell; what makes it really feel like Christmas....but they get more expensive each year & it makes me sad to chop perfectly good trees down just to use for a few weeks, then throw away. I know you would approve. You loved nature & animals, & you would get sad to see the trees chopped down when they built all these new houses, commenting about them taking away the animal's homes, & being sad when you saw dead dear or squirrels on the side of the road.

Your mommy never forgets these things.

I also remember you did love that fresh piney smell too. Maybe I'll find a piney smell candle instead.
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I guess I'm amazed at myself for even caring about Christmas this year, my angel. Of course your sisters have a lot to do with it. But it seems like everyone is in the Christmas spirit this year & it's rubbing off on me. Everywhere we look- Christmas is in the air. Many in our neighborhood & nearby neighborhoods have their trees & decorations up already.

Maybe it's been a tough year for everyone & we're all just ready to look forward to something positive, to end it on a good note. I'm not sure my mouse. But I'm thankful to not be dreading it like the last two years, to not be afraid of enjoying something without feeling complete & utter sadness & guilt.

Day by day.

I still am careful to get too overwhelmed. To get caught up in the craziness of the season. Everyday. Every season. But especially this one.
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Seeing my Haileyfly made my day baby girl. It gave me hope. I thought wow, even in the bitter cold it not only survived; it flourished.

It made me think, that you sent it to say hello. To remind me that everything is going to be alright.
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I love & miss you everyday.

We try everyday to honor your life, even if in the smallest way. I hope you can see how hard we're trying my angel.

I hope just like we get our signs from up above, you get them from us down here. <3

Sweet dreams.

Until I see you again,
Your mommy