Your light

Mouse,

We got our first snowfall of the year. They're not predicting a lot of snow this year, but who knows...seems like it's starting early instead. You sisters weren't as excited because it snowed on the weekend instead of a school day, & of course most of it's melted already...

Rocky was so excited he kept jumping on Bella.

Rocky is definitely a snow dog.

...

The month is moving along baby girl.

This week is Daddy's birthday. Too bad he has to work on his b-day but we're going to celebrate on his day off. We're not doing anything big this year, just treat him to a nice streak dinner. I know you will be there too.

I never mentioned it, but I know you already know, that last month was 2 years for Daddy. It's a big deal. We're proud of him. I know you're cheering for him from Heaven. We are too.

I wish I could say that it's been easy & that he doesn't still struggle with it everyday. Or that it's gotten easier over time...it hasn't. Some days are worse than others. Daddy doesn't talk much, but I can usually tell on his face. If he's had an especially hard day at work, the ongoing issues with his car & other problems...

But he's still fighting, & we are too right by his side. We support him here & he goes to his support group every week on his day off, that helps a lot too. It's hard baby girl. Temptation is everywhere...baseball & football games, parties, concerts, almost at every event & occasion...

There's some things we just can't do anymore, places we can't go & people we just can't hang out with. It's sad, but that is the sacrifice we have to make. But it's worth it, to have Daddy healthy. It's worth it.

Just like with grief...we deal with things day by day.

So nothing crazy on his bday, just his favorite- steak. I know you will continue to cheer Daddy on, & so will we baby girl.<3
...

Today is the annual worldwide candle lighting ceremony in memory of our babies with Compassionate Friends. We're not supposed to light them until 7 pm tonight, but we've had ours lit since breakfast- just like we do every Sunday at breakfast; the only day we're all home at the same time & able to eat a meal together.

I also decided to write you at this time instead...

Just like I told you when I lit the candle, at the gardens & now...

Not a day goes by baby girl...

Each minute of every day...

We love & miss you so much.

Our candle is lit & I hope you can see. I hope you can feel the love. With the rest of the angels.

I know the world is shining brighter tonight, not only from our candles, but from the love that radiates to you & the love that radiates back.

Your light will always shine bright my angel. We will never forget.

Forever & ever,

Your mommy <3