The other day was Sydney's birthday- she turned 18! I can't believe it. Thinking of her throughout the years since she was a baby, made me think of you. She was one of your favorite people.
It made me smile, even laugh, remembering how you'd follow her around all the time since you were little. How you would only want to sit next to her at the dining table, or only sleep next to her during sleepovers. You would argue with Kayla to sleep next to her until you got your way (most times, sometimes Grandma wouldn't allow it). You would order exactly what she would order at any restaurant, or when eating at grandma's...
Grandma would say, "Hailey, what do YOU want to eat?" "Don't order it just because Sydney's ordering it" or "Don't eat it just because Sydney's eating it." But it didn't matter, you would still do it anyway. It got to the point where she would ask you first, so you couldn't copy Sydney. But you still hesitated & would look at Sydney before making a decision. You couldn't help yourself....you just looked up to her. She was your favorite...
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When I texted Sydney later to wish her a happy birthday, I mentioned all those memories, hoping not to make her sad, but to smile. She said they were good memories & it always made her laugh the way you always copied her & followed her around so much. She said she was glad to be one of role models. :)
I knew she couldn't of forgotten & it warmed my heart to be able to share that with her.
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18 my mouse. Where does the time go? Sissy is right behind her. It's scary.
I also let her know how proud I am of her. Working & driving like Sissy, last year in high school & on her way to college next year...I hope all her dreams come true.
(I wish I could share a pic of both of you, but Uncle C doesn't like the girls pics on the internet. It's ok though...I know the memories are engraved in our hearts & minds forever. We will never forget.)
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Last week we got Bella's A & B honor roll in the mail (she got all A's & 1 B+, so close) & we noticed right away the purple butterfly postage stamp. <3
I smiled right away. It's like you were saying "Hi Bella, I'm here, I'm so proud of you."
When first looking at it, Daddy guessed that the school did it as a nice gesture. But I told him no one at this school knows. Since it's a new school- none of the teachers or principal or vice principal...the only one that knew was Kayla's old counselor & she doesn't know Bella is her sister...
Either way baby girl, it's these little things. These little signs of love. As Dominic's mom said it "Sealed with Hailey love."
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I had been thinking her ever since she let me know one of her dear friends recently lost her daughter, after giving birth. :(
She asked for some advice, I sent her one of my favorite grieving books & a card to give her. I prayed for some peace & strength for her friend & for her too, to be able to comfort her friend...
It's always sad to hear about another life taken too soon, but especially painful when it's someone's child.. & that it happened to someone you know or is close to someone you know...
How I know about being on that boat my angel.
It's not only sad to be on that boat, but to also welcome new people on it. Even though we don't want to be on this journey alone, we don't wish it on anyone else. Never.
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So I had Dom's mom & her friend on my mind recently & the other day, I found this on our doorstep-
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| Beautiful Haileyfly. |
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| Perfect addition to the tree. |
Another sign of love. This time from a friend.
They say it doesn't take much to brighten someone's day, to lift them up by showing a little bit kindness. This is a perfect example. <3
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Then Auntie told me the boys bought an angel & they named her Hailey. :)
It made me smile. It's the little things...another sign of love.
A sign & symbol that you are forever in our hearts baby girl.
That you had such a big impact in our lives & we will never forget.
These are the things that help me get through my days. It may sound cheesy or cliché to someone who doesn't know...to someone who's never suffered or who isn't suffering. But to someone like me, who clings on with dear life for anything good, to keep from going bad...
Who desperately wants to keep out the darkness...who is always searching for you...
These things matter. Love matters.
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I love you Hailey.
I miss you everyday.
Forever,
Your mommy
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| Grandma's stockings <3 |
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