Not over yet

Baby girl,

The other day we were at the mall & we stopped by your favorite kabob place to eat. The girl taking our order remembered us, it was the same one that used to take our order when you were here...

This is the first time we've seen her since. She even remembered our order, asking Bella if she wanted extra white sauce. She thought Bella thought was you...She asked, "You are the one that always wanted extra sauce, right? I remember." So I had to tell her.

Of course she was sorry to hear it. She still smiled & said she was glad to see us. I told her how we were glad to see her, how we looked for her a few times since & figured she left...

When we sat down to eat, we realized she gave us an extra sauce, for you.

I was so touched. Such a small gesture that spoke a hundred words.

You never wanted to share your sauce with your sisters,
so you would make me buy you your own. Yes, they would
charge for extra. But not this time, she gave it to us for free.

The nan bread was your absolute favorite. You could of just
had that to eat & you would be happy, with the sauce of
course. :)

...

I thought it was so sweet of her, I had to take a pic & write about it.

These little moments, these little gestures, even from complete strangers that knew you...

They mean so much.

She knew you. She remembered. <3
...

I'm feeling a little better today my angel. I got to see you at the gardens. I got to bake cookies with Bella. I'm trying not to overthink things...just one minute, one hour at a time, like in the beginning.

Here are the cookies we baked over the weekend. Your sisters are going to take them to school for their friends & we're going to bake some for the family too.

We baked chocolate, white chocolate, stars, Christmas tree & angel cookies. <3 Grandmom sent us her old cookie cutters & we used her recipes too. Just like her, they were baked with love for our loved ones. Starting new traditions, with you by our side.
...

I know you would of loved to bake with us too my mouse. Even though you weren't ever one for the kitchen ;) You had your favorite things that you'd like to make, but other than that you were never domestic. Cleaning, cooking, was not your thing. When I'd ask for help in the kitchen, you'd make a face. Unless it was baking, you & Bella would fight over who got to stir, pour & crack the eggs...

We always joked that when you got older you'd marry some rich schmuck & you'd have him wrapped around your little finger. We imagined you driving a cute red sports car, living in a big house with a maid & a cook & a huge walk-in closet filled with shoes & dresses. :)

Oh my mouse...we'll never know now.

But I know you were meant for more. We joke, but in my heart I know you would of been a teacher, possibly an art teacher because you loved art & children.

But it doesn't take from the life you had & how much meaning it had & it's meaning to us, the people who love you. And it's not over yet baby girl.

You continue to inspire & guide us.
You are part of us.
You continue to make waves...

It's not over yet.

We don't forget.
...

Love you baby girl. A lot is happening this week. I'll be an auntie again this Friday. I know you'll be guarding them. I'll pray tonight for them & the rest of my family & for ourselves...

To give us strength & wisdom. Love & protection.
..

I miss you.

I love you.

Forever & ever,
Mommy