Staying busy

My beautiful girl,

I thought only a few days passed since I last wrote & it turns out it’s been a week! :(

As you probably can see, I’ve been busy helping Papi move, unpack & clean up back & forth from the old house to the new. He doesn’t know, but I’ve been trying to help as much as possible in hopes we can still celebrate his birthday coming up at the new house. But I’m not sure it’ll be ready in time.

They haven’t moved in over 10 years & have accumulated so much stuff & they still have more at the old house they’re trying to get rid of...

Tio offered his house as a second choice to have the party, but I’m hoping we can still pull it off at Papi’s new house. I just think it would be nice to have it there. New memories in a new place.

I’m getting excited because Uncle Mikey is supposed to be coming up for the party. :) We all wished the whole family could come & Papi could meet the new baby, but after Auntie’s Abuelo passed, they just have too much going on & a lot to worry about. I know it’s not easy.
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I’ve been also working on the slideshow that’s coming together nicely. I’m going to go through a few more boxes of pics tomorrow since I already looked through all the albums & then Sissy is going to just edit it & add a few things to it, hopefully we can finish it tomorrow & then go to Papi’s to test it while he’s at work. We’re going to try & play it on his big screen TV.

We still have to work on a food, drink & decorations list. Auntie will help me with that...I’m not sure what the weather’s going to do yet. First they said rain, now just cloudy. I guess we’ll see baby girl. I’m sure everything will work out. Papi asked Ayde not to plan on any kind of surprises for him, I had to laugh. I said too bad, he’s getting one anyway. It’s a good thing he doesn’t read these letters. ;)
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Just staying busy my mouse. But still missing you immensely.

We all do.

Last night we had tea at Papi’s for the first time at the new house & somehow we got to talking about the random voicemail I got a couple months back that sounded like your voice saying “ Hi mom.” I told them the whole story & then played them the voicemail...

They agreed it sounded like you & they had tears in their eyes. I told them I don’t like to think about it too much because your voice sounded so sad. They agreed it did too. :(

We drove home last night thinking about it & it made us sad too. It never leaves us, the sadness. But moments like last night, we can’t suppress it & it rises from the bottom all the way up passed our hearts, our throats & up to our heads. Making it hard to breathe, swallow & the tears they flow....& hearts just ache.

I told Sissy that I hoped you aren’t really sad. She said she hopes not either. More than anything, that would break us. :(

I always try & think of the signs you send us & remember their meaning. Always happy signs, not sad. I was thinking about all this last night & this morning & even during work when I get a text from Sissy:

I had to put myself on break because I just burst into tears my angel. It made me smile, but it also made me cry.

And I felt so much better afterwards. God is good. And I know deep down you are with Him. And like I told you last night in my prayers baby girl;

It’s ok to be sad. Because we are sad too. But just remember how much we love you. With every ounce of our being. And remember that we’ll see each other again my angel, but in the meantime we carry you in our hearts, everywhere we go. We don't exist without you. And I promise to try & not be sad if you will, ok?
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I miss & love you.

Forever,
Your mommy <3