Awhile

My beautiful girl,

Things are moving along slowly but surely. I'm sorry it's been awhile since I last wrote.

We've been busy with packing, cleaning, moving & painting all at once. And basketball practices, dance rehearsals, dance recital in between...

I'm physically & mentally beat. I'm not as young as I used to be either & definitely out of shape. But we've accomplished a good amount with the little time we've had. Neither Daddy or I can take any real time off to knock this out in one shot, nor do we care to. I don't know which is worse...but I think moving is torturous either way.
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There was a moment yesterday where us girls were painting Sissy's new room; with music playing, us laughing about something, carrying on & I had a sudden flash of...I don't even know what. But all I know is that at that moment, I wished so bad you were there with us, laughing & carrying on too.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing, wondering which color you would of picked for your room. Sissy picked a lavender color, she said, for you. She said she had to have some kind of purple in her room. <3
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Bella picked a grayish color, because her bedspread is light purple with gray butterflies & her lamp is silver. She thought that purple walls would be "too much purple". I agree.

The ceilings in their rooms are high, so we borrowed Papi's 8 foot ladder to paint the tops. Even so, I still have to twist, stretch & turn...with your sisters spotting me to make sure I don't break my neck.

I had plans to paint the rest of the house baby girl, but after this last week I decided to wait. It's a lot of work & very expensive.
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Today was Bella's dance recital & she was so good! Daddy was able to get a Saturday off (unbelievable)...so he was there too. The entire show was great, all the dancers & costumes were awesome.

During the show, I remembered how when Bella started soccer, you told me you wanted to join next season...I was pretty sure it was because you wanted a pair of matching cleats with your soccer outfit. <3

When I told you yes, you smiled your big beautiful smile. I imagined you sitting next to me today, leaning over & whispering in my ear... "Mommy, can I join dance too in the fall?" I would say yes, you'd smile & I'd be thinking of how it was because you loved the glittery costumes & make-up & wanted to dress up too. <3
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I miss you my mouse.

I always think of you.

We'll be moving the rest of our stuff in the next couple of weeks, including yours. Part of me is excited, because I'm so happy about our new place & I can't wait to 'bring you with us'...

The other part of me is dreading it, because I know it will hurt.

It already hurts.
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Lavender roses <3

Our first rainbow of the summer. It's been awhile since our last one.
It made me smile. <3