Four leafed clovers

My mouse,

I woke up this morning abruptly with an image of your beautiful face. Thanks to Rocky's wining, wanting to use the bathroom, it was actually in the middle of the night sometime. The image must of been from a beautiful dream I was having, although I don't remember much. Just an image of your face, close-up, like you were right there. Older this time, like when we last saw you. <3

I took Rocky out & the skies were dark, like it was about to pour. Then I went back to bed, still with that image of your beautiful angelic face.

I woke up again later, with a heavy heart. Like I do sometimes, like someone is stepping on my chest.

I missed you all day, so much- so much more than ever.

I could feel the grief building, wanting to show it's ugly face. I tried to keep busy, because I could feel this one wasn't going to be good...

In between work & your sisters, I had to go see you. I picked up some Fall flowers for you first, then I went to see you, sat, talked & cried to you.

It helped baby girl.

I'm so glad to have your memorial site there, as our refuge. I don't regret...keeping you there. And I feel lucky & thankful that we had a choice. Some do not. :(
...

Coming back to pick up Bella from the bus stop, my heart was still heavy, but not crushing. Like always, that feeling of nostalgia & longing never truly leaves, but some days it's presence can't be easily ignored.

We went about the rest of the afternoon like usual. I made a yummy dinner, listened to your sisters argue, Daddy home from work, homework, clean up...

Then I finally decide to go to my room & lay down & shut my mind off & read a new book I picked up from the used book store last week.

I pick it up & I see something sticking out from the middle of the book. It looked like a leaf. I open it up on the exact page & this is what I see:

Three pressed 4 leafed clovers!

I couldn't believe my eyes my mouse!

Three four leaved clovers- pressed ever so delicately in the middle of the book!

I didn't know what to think. I went to show Daddy, Bella & later Sissy when she woke up from her nap. They were just as surprised as I was! What could it mean? What are the chances?

Did the previous owner forget? Or leave them there on purpose?

Could this really be a sign of good luck? Or what?

I could help but try to google an answer & this is what I saw:

In water or pressed in a book!

...

It still said how rare it is, to find one. Much less 3! <3

I don't know my mouse.

I know there wasn't any way it was you who put them there. But my heart couldn't help thinking you had something to do with it.

Either way, I took it as a good sign.

I was having another shitty day, missing you. My heart aching, crushing, not being able to breath. Remembering your beautiful smiling face in front of me, like you were looking down on me while I slept...

And then this!

I didn't even bother posting it on Facebook or anywhere because I felt no one would even believe me. But I had to show the family, & share it with you here.

It made my day & it made me smile. It made me wonder, how all these little things happen on my worse days. It made me thankful-  because from the bottom of my heart I know you are still here with me.

I know God hasn't left my side either.

And because of this, I can go one another day.

Now I'm going to have to finish this book. ;)

I love you sweet angel.

Forever & ever,
Your mommy