So many things

Baby girl,

I have so much on my mind tonight. I wish it wasn’t so late so I could write about every single thing, I wish I didn’t have to start work early tomorrow, or work a full day at that. So many things.

The world keeps turning babygirl. Even when we wish we could press pause. Things have been hectic. I don’t handle stress the way I used to. Multi-tasker, do-it-all, supermom. The old me. Now it’s one task at a time. The biggest & most important one first. Sometimes it’s hard determining which is the biggest & most important...

I don’t know if I’m making any sense, but I’m sure you can see from where you are.
...

I’ve been waiting for Fall to arrive. So far it’s been humidity & rain...but I shouldn’t complain. Nothing compared to the hurricane that recently hit N.C. Those poor people down there are dealing with worse.

That’s what I’ve always been told in the past, “be thankful because there’s always someone out there dealing with worse.” Maybe that used to work babygirl, before. But now that I know what worse is, I can never feel thankful that someone out there is feeling it too.
...

I miss you Hailey.

We’ve been talking about you so much lately. I wonder if your ears still ring in Heaven. <3

I’ve been helping Uncle Dan design his marathon T-shirt. He is planning on running in the Marine Corps marathon next month in your honor.<3

We talked about it when he was here visiting last month. He got teary eyed mentioning it, telling us he can hear you cheer him in the background whenever he gets tired or wants to stop. Just like Auntie Alina said, the exact same thing when she ran a half marathon a couple years back. <3

Of course, my heart is so happy. :)

I hope you love the design my mouse. Uncle Dan picked the picture. Originally he wanted a picture of you running on the front, but we don’t have any. So I mentioned the picture that your running team had taken & framed to give to us, with a beautiful inscription on the back. He loved it. I just added your beautiful face in the middle.<3

<3

I’ll show you the original picture in the frame later when I put it back together, & the T-shirt when it’s done.

It’s going to turn out great, I’m sure.

I just hope Uncle Dan will be able to run after all. Training hasn’t been easy & apparently he’s had major leg problems.
...

I told him when he was here how you loved the running club even for the short time you were a part of it & how they loved you. I told him how I used to say, “It’s a good thing you inherited your daddy’s legs!” and you used to laugh.

Oh my sweet angel. If only I could see & hear you laugh again...

We’ll pray Uncle Dan recovers enough to run. We’ll pray for my mom & the rest of the family, us, your sisters.

Bella specially wanted to dream about you these last couple of weeks. She took Mr. Snuggles in to her room & hugged him & snuggled tight before bed hoping to see you in her dreams...

I pray she does.

I pray for the people down in the Carolinas. I pray that you hear me my beautiful girl. I pray that you feel my love for you, all the way in Heaven.

I pray for strength & guidance & another day.

I love you. So much. Each & everyday

Forever & ever,
Your mommy