Accept & adjust

My little girl,

Just as quickly as time goes on, it also brings about changes. Both are inevitable.
...

Things have gotten a little quieter- with Sissy's prom, graduation & graduation party now over. So much fun but also so much work. I'm both happy & sad- but also relieved.

Everything turned out so well. Sissy looked so beautiful at prom. We got some great pictures. Then at graduation Grandmom, Pop Pop & Sydney drove down to watch her graduate. Papi, Auntie & the family showed up too, got some more great pictures.

I know you were there too, watching Sissy walk up to the stage & accept her diploma. I know you were cheering loudly with the rest of us. <3

There were so many people, so many students. I saw your friend Isabelle & her family, to of course watch her brother Austin graduate. They didn't see me, but I texted her mom congratulations. She said the same. I was so surprised to see Isabelle looking so grown up. From a distance, I saw her wearing a fitted dress with a cute jacket. Not looking like a little girl anymore...

At one point they called out a girls name "Hailey Anne" & my heart jumped baby girl. Another girl with your first & middle name. I think with seeing Isabelle & then hearing your name- it just struck me. I didn't tear up until then, until I heard your name & realized it would be the only time I'd ever hear your name called out during graduation. :(

It hurt. Daddy heard it too & squeezed my hand. He knew. It hurt him too.

And just like that.

A chapter ends & a new one begins.
...

Sissy is excited of course. I'm proud & happy for her too- but also weary. Just as we were adjusting to a new 'normal'- here comes another one.

But I don't want to bust her bubble. So I play along.

Her party was a good time with family & friends. It rained but we made the best of it indoors- at our house instead of papi's. We decorated & Bella & I made most of the food the day before. She was my great helper. <3

We were grilling for a couple hours in the heat, sitting underneath the shade of our crepe myrtle tree in the backyard between breaks & there was a little white butterfly hanging around us the whole time. Coming & going- feeding on the dandelions. We thought of you...

During the party we lit a candle for you & Lou- because we knew you were there in spirit. Tia & Karolina appreciated the gesture. Tia got teary. Your candle stayed lit well after the party ended baby girl. We all noticed. <3
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Sissy got some great gifts for her graduation & we've already started using some of it to buy a few things for her dorm. It's actually happening baby girl. In just a couple of months, Sissy will be living away from home.
...

Auntie's 40th bday was last week- we had so much fun hanging & celebrating with Auntie, Uncle Chris, Brian & Sissy. We had some good food, drinks & saw a live band that sounded just like the Doors- one of her favorite bands. Definitely a memorable night ;-).

Next up is Bella's dance recital- which is tomorrow. She's been practicing, rehearsing & dress rehearsing....glad it's finally here. Daddy took off to see it too. Then after that, we're leaving for the beach. :)

Just for a day- but I'll take it. We need it baby girl, to recharge our batteries.

To be closer to you....
...

Sissy has to work so she won't be coming. :(

Our first mini vacation without her.

Time keeps going & things keep changing baby girl. They can't be helped. All we can do is accept & adjust.

What other choice do we have?

We are all trying our hardest & our best. What more can we ask for?
...

Meanwhile my little mouse, we continue to miss you & think of you.

Always visiting you at the gardens, always looking for our signs.

I'm always looking, always searching...

And just when I need it the most, one always appears.




<3

I love you my beautiful girl.

So much.

I miss you aren't even adequate words.

You are missing from me- is closer.

Every night I still say goodnight & "another day closer baby girl".

I mean it. I can't wait.

Forever,
Your mommy <3