Last reflection

Babygirl,

The stars are showing bright tonight. Sometimes Rocky’s late night walks before bed are worth it- kind of like a last reflection for the day.

Tonight both Sissy & Bella are spending the night away- which hasn’t happened since they spent the week in Jersey a couple years ago. Now each going their separate ways; Sissy at the beach with her friends & Bella at Kings Dominion with hers.

Bella texted me on the way there to tell me that she was thinking of you & how 'Girls just wanna have fun’ (our theme song) came on. Later after Daddy & I visited you at the gardens & we were thinking of you, the same song came on the radio. :)

<3

Coincidence?

I hope not...
...

My last reflections of the day is how everything seems to come back full circle, babygirl.

I was telling daddy earlier how it all started with just me & him- becoming friends first, then falling in love, next having a beautiful family with our three beautiful girls & now, it’s back to just me & him again.

Weird how that works. Life is a trip.
...

Even though Bella still has ways to go, I see her becoming more independent faster than Sissy did or imagine that you ever could.

Even as I say that though, she is very dependent on friends, not liking to be alone. I know that has a lot to do with you being gone & Sissy always being busy too. It makes her miss you more. :(

So I’m lenient on her going out, spending the night or having sleepovers. It seems like she needs to stay busy, to be around others. I completely understand. But I also think there should be a balance. Like papi always says, “too much of anything is not good”.

There has to be balance in everything.
...

I worry she grows too too fast. I worry about so many things...

But that is me. Always mother first.
...

But today I tried not to be just mommy first & put my worries aside. Daddy had the day off so we had, not just date night with movie & munchies at home- but a whole ‘date day’, spending the day together just the two of us, oh & Rocky of course.

We went to DC & walked around, only a little because it was way too hot. We left early hoping to beat traffic....nice try.

On our way back home we went to see you & say hi, to clean up the grass & dust off your plaque.

Even on our `date day’, we both wanted to see you.

Even as we tried to take off our “mom & dad hats” for the day, our hearts are always drawn to yours. <3

We never forget
...

Once home, Daddy grilled steaks & I made my roasted potatoes. We feasted afterwards with dessert-cherries, ice cream sandwiches & apple slices dipped in peanut butter; a thing we usually can’t have because Bella. We hung out & laughed watching the new Adam Sandler & Jennifer Anniston movie on Netflix. It reminded us of course, of one of your favorites with them; Just Go With It. It was funny baby girl. They work well together. I know you’d be cracking up. ;)
...

We had a good day overall. Full circle.

I have to admit I was worried in the past- of how it was going to be in the future. With Daddy & me. After you girls grew up & moved away. I worried we’d have nothing left in common, with nothing left to look forward to.

That maybe we’d be “mommy & daddy” for so long we’d forget how to be just husband & wife.

Of course, I’d never imagined it would be happening now, so early!

But it’s already happening babygirl.

So as weird as it may sound it’s like daddy & I are starting all over. Like we have to get to know each other again. But if it’s going to be like today, both of us actually looking forward to it, actually caring enough to put forth effort- maybe it really will be full circle.

Maybe I don’t need to worry after all. <3
...

Love you my beautiful girl.

With all my heart.

Another day closer.

Mommy