Always in our hearts

 

Dear baby girl,

I really miss you. We all do. We've been trying to make the best of each day, always thinking of you. Yesterday, we were over at Tio's helping Alina paint the border for her new garden. Actually, your new garden. <3

It turned out real nice. :)



The plaque for your garden.

I tried my best to make a replica of your rose you had on your wall...which I'm putting back. I remember you practicing your roses over & over. Once you learned how to draw something, you'd draw dozens.  The hippos, fish, "Juno" (doggies)...all your beautiful flowers...

The border

It was a team effort: me, your sisters, all the kids, Madeline, Alina, & Tio B. They had so much fun using the stencils & painting in Tio's garage. It turned out so nice, definitely has you written all over it. :)

I tried not to get emotional, but at the end I couldn't help it. I was mostly thankful to Alina for thinking of you & wanting to honor you in such a sweet way. It makes me happy. I want the kids to remember you too. And doing things like this will help them to. They are all still so young. It makes me sad to think they will eventually forget that you were practically mom to them all. You loved them so much, that I want them to know you once existed. That you changed their diapers, helped feed them, carried, burped & played with them all.


There is your garden, then there was the balloon release we did on the 20th...3 months....I don't know why this was such a significant day baby. More so than any of the other months. More painful. It just was.

The only way I knew how to make it less painful & more of a day of remembrance for your sisters especially, was to send up some balloons to you. They each got their own to write on, whatever message they wanted to send you. I got one too. Daddy had to work, but I wrote his on his behalf.

We all love & miss you so much Hailey.

We know you got the balloons, because right after leaving we were on Rt. 66 stuck in traffic on our way to Alina's to have dinner, & a beautiful yellow monarch butterfly flew right in front of the window of the van. We knew it was you. It practically touched the window. In my almost 20 years of driving on 66, I have never seen a butterfly flying over the cars during traffic. Much less one right in front of my window. Your sisters saw it too
& they were smiling.

Then yesterday it happened again after I got off work. This time it was on my way home, right by the mall, where I take my shortcut. I was thinking of you, as I always do when I'm alone in silence.

It was the one year anniversary of Dana's passing, so I was
thinking of her too. I whispered out loud, "I miss you Dana. Please
take care of my baby girl."


Not even a couple minutes later, a yellow monarch butterfly
appears again, right in front of the van flying close to the window. I got home to change before going to Tio's to work on your garden plaque, watering the flowers on my way out, and here comes a black & purple butterfly swooping down from above fluttering around me, not even a foot away from my face.

I knew it was too much of a coincidence. I knew that black & purple one was Dana, letting me know she heard me. Letting me know she'll be watching out for you...

I love you my beautiful angel.

You are always in our hearts. I always look for signs of you...

Always & forever. For the rest of my days to infinity.

Your Mommy.